Punter's Paradox

[jmioffe]

I think most people outside the hobby don't think of me as a very sexual person.

I'm single, never been married, don't date much, don't horndog females in my vicinity.

But I'm probably also the most sexually experienced (I think) of those who know me due to this hobby.

I find this kind of funny. It definitely is my fault. I keep my sexuality under wraps. I don't want people to know about my hobby.

I hide it well enough that when I travel with friends, they get hit up by the freelancers, but I look like a naive boyscout-ish tourist.

Maybe I'm the equivalent of the uptight secretary who's secretly a pole dancer.

How about you? Do you keep things under wraps too or are you sexually expressive?

 

[Charlie Smart]

Very thoughtful and deep question/topic...I would categorize myself as being very similiar to you. I keep my sexuality totally separate and private...I do get those looks and stares from other ladies in the real world, but I keep to myself and move on.

 

[Anwar]

My wife used to tease me as her gay best friend before we actually started dating, so I'm the diametrical opposite of sexually expressive

 

[sexslave]

when I travel with friends, they get hit up by the freelancers, but I look like a naive boyscout-ish tourist.
Maybe I'm the equivalent of the uptight secretary who's secretly a pole dancer.

You made me laugh! So well said.

We're very similar.

 

[curly]

There is a fine line between sexuality aggressive ans sexually interested/available. I don't hit on woman ans I'm not pushy but have no problem letting them know when I find them pretty or attractive. You would be surprised how many woman appreciate a tactful compliment and interest. Many of them have a boring sex life because of their boyfriend or because they've been raised to appear prude. Many of them are ready to have sex with an interested and warm man.

I'm not talking about the hobby in my civilian life, but I make no excuses to be attracted to women in my day to day life. And it's got me laid quite a few times for free ans for fun.

 

[jmioffe]

that's what i like to hear! I wonder if I'm selling myself short by not being sexual enough, and the punting is just a vicious cycle I've gotten myself into

I try not to be sexual --> I get no sexual interest --> I go the p4p route --> I don't want people to know so --> I try not to be sexual

 

[Flyingby]

So if I read this correctly. You are saying you have more sexual experience than most because of this hobby. Which equates to being a kingpin in bed?
Yet don’t date and probably don’t get to fuck anything outside of sp?
The thing about real life is it’s not only about how to fuck. It’s also about how to seduce and get inside a woman’s head. Most women get aroused mentally before they do physically.
You can get around it if you look like brad pitt.

 

[jalimon]

There is no way anyone in my circle (friends/colleagues/family) know about this. For the common folks this is exploitation of women. Period.

I do have some relation with regular girl once in a while. Mostly soccer mom I have to say because of this hobby I am really at ease with the sex part and they all notice. Hey some are surprised I am shaved so impressing them does not mean I am a kingpin haha

But I am not like jmioffe... For me it's impossible not to be sexual. I would have sex with 4 or 5 out of 10 women I see in the street if that could be socially acceptable and not lend me in jail. Since that could be problematic I restrain myself and behave correctly

Cheers,

 

[jmioffe]

Flyingby

Ha ha, no I am by no means a kingpin in bed. One of my friends might be though. I think I might just be a little more competent, due to practice, than you'd expect a guy with my look to be.

You're right that it's not only about how to fuck and the mental game is just as key.

The funny thing about a man looking like brad pitt not needing the mental game is, I hardly look like brad pitt. And so I don't even get the interaction that might constitute practice for the mental game.... and that's what brought me to the p4p world in the first place.

 

[curly]

that's what i like to hear! I wonder if I'm selling myself short by not being sexual enough, and the punting is just a vicious cycle I've gotten myself into

I try not to be sexual --> I get no sexual interest --> I go the p4p route --> I don't want people to know so --> I try not to be sexual

In my view, you are indeed selling yourself short.

Sex with a girlfriend or with a partner who does it for pleasure instead of doing it for work is very different. There is true and genuine caring and tenderness. You may not do every position and every sexual act that a sex professional will do without a blink at, but there is nothing like that genuine affection and kindness that you get from "civilian" sex. There is no such think as clock watching, as number of orgasm allowed per service, as kissing or not. And sharing breakfast with her the next morning after a steamy night is often more intimate than sharing body fluids!

Now, however, there will also be expectations in return... That you also make genuine effort to give her pleasure (and that you be good at it), that you will seduce her and you will be a gentleman and not a dick (pun fully intended!) before, during and after the sex. You will be expected to reciprocate that caring, tenderness, kindness and affection that you will get from this relationship.

Some providers are pretty good at giving us that GFE illusion, bless their hearts. Yes indeed some of them develop a closer relationship with some of us. My ex-gf, for example, was and still is a sex worker and I am absolutely sure that she enjoys herself during sex and that she is genuinely kind. That's just who she is. However, let's face it bluntly, it's a job. It is their work. And for her, when the hours is over, it's time for the next one.

In the end, hey, it's your life... What is good for me may not be good for you, you are the judge of this.

 

[jmioffe]

In my view, you are indeed selling yourself short.

What you wrote is wise, thank you. I need to hear it every so often.

 

[TheJames101]

There is no way anyone in my circle (friends/colleagues/family) know about this. For the common folks this is exploitation of women. Period.

Do you ever get concerned when you're out having drinks with one or more SP's (and bookers) that someone you know may see/recognize you?