A few things Julia, I've had many female friends who could not find a decent partner, and when I mean decent I mean someone who minimally take care of themselves (like shave and washes) and who can entertain minimal conversation with minimal caring for them as dates (like not leaving them waiting under the rain for e.g. as it happened to a friend). And they were not all disadvantaged in the looks department, but tended to pick their dates on the wrong criteria (for e.g. "he's soooo handsome") or going out with the first one who asked them out because they were so desperate. But men do the same mistakes.... I never realized some women had those challenges when I was single. Women have a pride, they don't talk about it!!! You meet them once you have a girlfriend who has friends...
The difference for men is that they have to make the first steps, still today. Women will judge them by those first steps, and if you are clumsy and just "normal" looking, you get ejected quick. If you approach a woman the wrong way, you are creepy, you are harassing them, you are boring or just another one hitting on them. In the best case, you get friendzoned very quick. But how the hell are you supposed to approach women? And let's say you have approached them and get a date and want, one day, to sleep with her, you must "escalate", e.g. create the right mood, make her feel excited and willing. How does one do this? And if you are clumsy and do a mistake, you get slapped at best or even accused or sexual misconduct. And if you don't make that move, you appear disinterested and get friendzoned also. That is the difference between men and women on this Julia. Have you ever heard of a man accusing a woman of sexual misconduct because she tried to kiss him or touched his butt? He may not like it, but he's not going to make a big deal out of it.
You don't learn these skills in school, and when you don't do anything, nothing happens. The one thing that did help me tremendously on my side is the fast seduction stuff. Whatever people say about this stuff, what it teach men is exactly what's missing: how to approach in a fun and sociable way, how to be a good date and entertain a pleasant conversation, how to make her in the mood in an exciting way for her. What they preach is all consensual, no pressure, and women usually enjoy a man who know what he's doing.
So getting back to my original point, what I don't understand is how the incels consider their destiny unchangeable.