Ask us anything part 3

Julia Sky said:

But it is often so subtle that it's not noticeable so I think it's a fair question ! (And the product used is already naturally in the lips so it's technically natural, just not born that way haha. Being pedantic)

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I agree with you. But at least (to not say most of the time), many young SP exaggerate and the final result looks like duck lips. Turn off for me.

Johnny test said:

As i said i don't want to argue (too much ) about this and i completely get the dangerous aspect of what you do.
On the other hand i really disagree about your choice of words "it is a really stupid thing", i know several ladies with which we had sessions where they were restrained and i wouldn't qualify their attitude and trust in me as stupid.

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I think it's good that you're acknowledging that clients and providers do not face the same risks and consequences because very often people here refuse to see that and it can be very frustrating.

Good for you if you had sessions like these that were pleasant for both parties but Rebaynia knows a lot about these dynamics enough to understand that she doesn't want to be in that predicament with a client.. and for me it's the same thing there's a good chance I would refuse unless there was a really good chemistry and trust between the client and I.. and personally I think adding that type of kink to a booking should mean extra compensation...

LookAlike said:

I agree with you. But at least (to not say most of the time), many young SP exaggerate and the final result looks like duck lips. Turn off for me.

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Lip fillers aren't meant for very young women unless they want to enhance very thin lips.. the goal is to restore volume that's been lost with age for women over 30, or to give a more youthful look to add a bit of plumpness to the lips.

Some people definitely go overboard and there was a moment a year ago when my lips were a bit overfilled and I had to be careful not to have this type of result.. but overall I'd say ppl don't usually notice or comment. Some clinics take advantage of their patients by offering cheap filler and they don't know how to inject, they also do whatever their clients ask them and don't care about the results..

If fillers are well done they aren't supposed to be noticeable. Most celebrities and influencers have them and you wouldn't even be able to tell. That being said i think it's not really productive to judge women on their aesthetic choices neither it is to encourage such modifications specially for very young ppl

Johnny test said:

As i said i don't want to argue (too much ) about this and i completely get the dangerous aspect of what you do.
On the other hand i really disagree about your choice of words "it is a really stupid thing", i know several ladies with which we had sessions where they were restrained and i wouldn't qualify their attitude and trust in me as stupid.

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Fair enough. And I'm not calling them stupid. Like I said it is a risk assessment thing. And I also have agreed to things in the past I would never repeat with someone I am not committed to, or isn't committed to me.
I also know of professional subs, and have heard of the horror stories some have been subjected to for it.
The term is only used as a reference from someone who knows how bad things can become, from even people you trust, not even as a client aspect, and know that there are people who also don't get the option to turn things like this down too. It is a term used as how I see it for myself. Not a term I would use to describe their acceptance to do it.

Yes I am very distrusting of people I don't actually know, and do not believe in an hour here and there someone can show me I can trust them enough for this, but that's me. I have trusted too much in the past, not SWer related, and was taught the only person I can ever truly trust is myself and what I put into the world. If I have been taught not to trust a relationship for this, why would I trust a stranger I see sometimes for it?
My relationship now has been trying to open my ability to trust others, which how I screen, and the lovlies I have the pleasure of enjoying time with has been good at backing up his efforts. But I also am still on guard because I know the visits I have are not representative of most clients. Thankfully my sweeties aren't looking to test my trust in them. I trust them for what I need, I don't need to put unwavering, or unconditional trust into them. I trust I will enjoy my time with them, while I maintain my ability to stop anything if it goes too far.

For clients:

Imagine you have a 2hr session with an SP. You come within the first 15 minutes and then fall fast asleep cuddling.... How long would you want to be left asleep before being woken up?

Rebaynia said:

For starters, it seems like your questions might also play along the line of questioning, that we can picture the person on the other end looking to just jack off to the mental image of the visit he is trying to plan, and question if it is a timewaister just looking to get off on this comunication, or does this person actually have intentions to book an appointment.

That's the first thought.

Second is, visits entirely planned out before we even meet in person, is trying to fulfill a pre-established expectation to live up to, rather than to just expierience the moment. We don't want to fill a role.

There is a matter of fact ways to discuss these things, but many providers find all these questions too time-consuming, for what might likely lead to no visit. It's 1 thing if the providers seen you before, and knows you are serious in your questions for followup appointments. But for a first timer... There are a lot of people who will reach out ask many questions and never follow threw, you might be redflagging yourself before the initial visit ever happens.

We don't want to lay every one of our cards on the table. People who ask us so much about our boundaries, is often looking to push them. It raises distrust right away when what someone wants to know is the no's, rather than asking for what the yes's are.

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Thanks so much. (Your past experiences would have never occurred to me.) Your thoughts are super helpful!

Lunaseraphim said:

I like direct and clear communication during the booking process as well but really often when clients ask too many questions that feel unnecessary it feels like they are wasting our time and trying to sext for free.

Personally I feel like if you know what services a SP provides, it's unnecessary to ask these types of questions unless we're talking about kink.. and even then I feel like it's better to discuss these details in person at the beginning of the booking.

This is just me but I don't like being asked questions like "what is a booking with you like" because I prefer if the client sees for himself.. having a very long discussion about the booking often makes me feel like the client will be finicky .. more questions and more comments just feel like an excuse to keep talking to me. And in my experience when I set a boundary with a client like this they get mad and cancel.

I prefer if a client is clear about his expectations. If it doesn't match what I'm comfortable offering, I will let him know. When I've made exceptions for clients like crossing a personal boundary or offering a service I no longer offer I've almost always regretted it.. it's often been a bad experience. Same thing when I follow through with a client who asked too many questions and seemed skeptical or pushy ...

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Good to know. I don’t have a lot of experience booking independently (noob here) and so far I was only thinking about my experience with in-person conversations.
(with the Montreal Unicorn Healers as well, the initial exchange of checklists was just setting the stage for the following in-person conversation.)
In any case, what you say really reinforces my trust and fondness for repeat visits. In any relationship, for me, kink typically happens later after several dates. And with return-/repeat-bookings everything vanilla gets so much more intimate as two people learn about each other’s bodies, hearts and minds

ChloeCoeur said:

For clients:

Imagine you have a 2hr session with an SP. You come within the first 15 minutes and then fall fast asleep cuddling.... How long would you want to be left asleep before being woken up?

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Tough one bc he's clearly all tuckered out but I guess standard nap time (15-20 min) seems like a reasonable time to then gently rouse him. If he wants to keep sleeping after that, it's a conscious choice to spend the rest of the session like that.

ChloeCoeur said:

For clients:

Imagine you have a 2hr session with an SP. You come within the first 15 minutes and then fall fast asleep cuddling.... How long would you want to be left asleep before being woken up?

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I would also say 15 minutes ish would be enough and then he can décide how the end of the date will go, still sleepimg or moré actively cuddling ;-)

ChloeCoeur said:

For clients:

Imagine you have a 2hr session with an SP. You come within the first 15 minutes and then fall fast asleep cuddling.... How long would you want to be left asleep before being woken up?

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Until spring preferably

S.S neo said:

Until spring preferably

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Damn I feel you