Ask us anything part 3

[lovethaifood]

I feel kinda weird answering this type of question and I don't understand why it's relevant. A client isn't the same thing as a partner and no I don't have trouble telling the difference.

Thank you for answering despite feeling weird about it.

I asked this question because at least in my mind and maybe other client's minds, the mental image of an Indy/Agency SP whether incall or outcall, is a pro who has sex more often and has experience with more partners by far than the average person will in a lifetime.

I've also read here and elsewhere that many times there are clients that see an SP and the appointment was just social and didn't end up in the bedroom. Maybe there are some high end SPs that are very selective and do not have that many clients or are in a longterm exclusivity client/SP relationship for years.

I personally think it is possible the lines might get blurred in a SW's mind between client/partner. This also goes for Clients as well. Minds are so malleable these days with social media, and all the ways we are bombarded with images/videos that are so readily available. I think this also creates scenarios in men's minds of how their date should go. Intimacy is complicated, I wonder sometimes how a SP over the course of time doesn't fall into a script/routine and keeps things fresh everytime. I hear friends bitching about their wives and mundane sexlife but, they don't ever communicate with their significant other.

I appreciate you're taking the time to answer.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Thank you for answering despite feeling weird about it.

I asked this question because at least in my mind and maybe other client's minds, the mental image of an Indy/Agency SP whether incall or outcall, is a pro who has sex more often and has experience with more partners by far than the average person will in a lifetime.

I've also read here and elsewhere that many times there are clients that see an SP and the appointment was just social and didn't end up in the bedroom. Maybe there are some high end SPs that are very selective and do not have that many clients or are in a longterm exclusivity client/SP relationship for years.

I personally think it is possible the lines might get blurred in a SW's mind between client/partner. This also goes for Clients as well. Minds are so malleable these days with social media, and all the ways we are bombarded with images/videos that are so readily available. I think this also creates scenarios in men's minds of how their date should go. Intimacy is complicated, I wonder sometimes how a SP over the course of time doesn't fall into a script/routine and keeps things fresh everytime. I hear friends bitching about their wives and mundane sexlife but, they don't ever communicate with their significant other.

I appreciate you're taking the time to answer.

Here is how I think about it. Being a SP is a job and we choose to become one for various reasons, not necessarily because we particularly enjoy sex more than the average person. Do we have sex more often and experience more partners generally? Yes because we see clients on a regular basis, but I also know people who hook up with different people every week and see as many people as I do and are not SP's. Some appointments are social and sometimes the sexual part of an appointment is only a small part. Sometimes, most of it is intimacy. It all depends on the client's needs, on expectations and sometimes on chemistry.

I think that sometimes lines get blurred in the sense that we are all human beings and you can end up having a client that you get along with really well and feel super good about seeing. I know that's happened with me. Intimacy also develops over time.. I think that you have to understand that we are not following a script because we aren't developing romantic feelings for clients or blurring the line between a client and a partner in our minds. I don't feel like I follow a script with clients, I talk with them, we have various conversations, the dynamic is different from person to person. It's not just up to the SP to keeps things fresh tho, and some clients DO enjoy routine and a comforting GFE experience that follows the same type of pattern every time.

I'm a GFE provider (which is something a lot of people don't seem to understand) so of course things will tend to be more on the tender side or will include acts that are not kinky per se or similar to what you see in hardcore porn. This means a good percentage of my clientele is here not only for the sex but for the cuddles, the companionship, the conversations, the camaraderie, etc. A lot of my clients want intellectual stimulation and they want to be around someone who's ''out of the ordinary'' (in terms of my interests and personality and things that I enjoy talking about)..

Have I met clients who I thought ''oh, if I had met him outside of this, I may be friends with them or might have gone on a date with them'' yes, it's actually happened. But that doesn't mean I'll allow myself to develop deeper feelings for them, because I don't think this would be healthy for me. I don't date people very often, I've been in a relationship while being a SP and briefly dated other people in the past.. It didn't feel like I was working when I was with them because we met in such a different context and things led up to intimacy otherwise.

 

[lovethaifood]

Here is how I think about it. Being a SP is a job and we choose to become one for various reasons, not necessarily because we particularly enjoy sex more than the average person. Do we have sex more often and experience more partners generally? Yes because we see clients on a regular basis, but I also know people who hook up with different people every week and see as many people as I do and are not SP's. Some appointments are social and sometimes the sexual part of an appointment is only a small part. Sometimes, most of it is intimacy. It all depends on the client's needs, on expectations and sometimes on chemistry.

I think that sometimes lines get blurred in the sense that we are all human beings and you can end up having a client that you get along with really well and feel super good about seeing. I know that's happened with me. Intimacy also develops over time.. I think that you have to understand that we are not following a script because we aren't developing romantic feelings for clients or blurring the line between a client and a partner in our minds. I don't feel like I follow a script with clients, I talk with them, we have various conversations, the dynamic is different from person to person. It's not just up to the SP to keeps things fresh tho, and some clients DO enjoy routine and a comforting GFE experience that follows the same type of pattern every time.

I'm a GFE provider (which is something a lot of people don't seem to understand) so of course things will tend to be more on the tender side or will include acts that are not kinky per se or similar to what you see in hardcore porn. This means a good percentage of my clientele is here not only for the sex but for the cuddles, the companionship, the conversations, the camaraderie, etc. A lot of my clients want intellectual stimulation and they want to be around someone who's ''out of the ordinary'' (in terms of my interests and personality and things that I enjoy talking about)..

Have I met clients who I thought ''oh, if I had met him outside of this, I may be friends with them or might have gone on a date with them'' yes, it's actually happened. But that doesn't mean I'll allow myself to develop deeper feelings for them, because I don't think this would be healthy for me. I don't date people very often, I've been in a relationship while being a SP and briefly dated other people in the past.. It didn't feel like I was working when I was with them because we met in such a different context and things led up to intimacy otherwise.

Thank you so much for taking the time to write out that very thoughtful answer. Appreciate your perspective.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

One thing I want to add about this very complicated questions is : often it's clients who end up blurring the lines and started to develop deeper feelings for us and trying to push the envelope, and I feel like often in certain gentlemen's minds there is a confusion between seeing SP's and online dating or just plain old dating. It's ok to have a crush on a SP and develop feelings for her but that doesn't mean you are actually dating her or that it's the same as hooking up with someone from tinder.

And she is not tricking you because there is a transaction happening. You can have a mutually beneficial client SP relationship that involves a lot of fun and tenderness and still understand the nature of the relationship, and it doesn't mean she is putting on an act. She is providing companionship and care for you and sexy fun because that is her livelihood. I don't know if what I'm saying makes any sense...

 

[lovethaifood]

One thing I want to add about this very complicated questions is : often it's clients who end up blurring the lines and started to develop deeper feelings for us and trying to push the envelope, and I feel like often in certain gentlemen's minds there is a confusion between seeing SP's and online dating or just plain old dating. It's ok to have a crush on a SP and develop feelings for her but that doesn't mean you are actually dating her or that it's the same as hooking up with someone from tinder.

And she is not tricking you because there is a transaction happening. You can have a mutually beneficial client SP relationship that involves a lot of fun and tenderness and still understand the nature of the relationship, and it doesn't mean she is putting on an act. She is providing companionship and care for you and sexy fun because that is her livelihood. I don't know if what I'm saying makes any sense...

That totally makes sense. I agree 100 percent that there are probably many clients that blur the lines with an SP and it could even be dangerous for an SP. I never understand the people who complain about screening requirements.

I wonder sometimes how accurate the Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie Don Jon is with respect to sex addiction.

I was more thinking if I myself was a female SP if I could differentiate between client and partner during sex. I'm not so it is hard for me to understand. You've given me some insight. Thank you.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

That totally makes sense. I agree 100 percent that there are probably many clients that blur the lines with an SP and it could even be dangerous for an SP. I never understand the people who complain about screening requirements.

I wonder sometimes how accurate the Joseph Gordon-Levitt movie Don Jon is with respect to sex addiction.

I was more thinking if I myself was a female SP if I could differentiate between client and partner during sex. I'm not so it is hard for me to understand. You've given me some insight. Thank you.

I think for me it may be different than from some other SP's. To have sex outside the job with someone, I've mentioned this before, but I have to have developed at least some type of crush on them. I've never been into hook ups. Sex when you have romantic feelings & a personal relationship with someone feels completely different.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

Perso ça ne me dérange pas toujours si le client pars après 5-10 minutes car il doit s'habiller etc,

Je trouve que tu es assez permissive car normalement le client respectueux devrait être à la porte à la 60 ième minute!

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Je trouve que tu es assez permissive car normalement le client respectueux devrait être à la porte à la 60 ième minute!

En général le client s'en va quand l'heure est finie ou un peu avant, mais il peut arriver que la personne prenne un peu de temps à s'habiller. Je peux être permissive parfois avec certains clients réguliers, mais la majeure partie du temps je m'attend à ce que le client quitte lorsque l'heure est terminée et compte le dernier 5 minute pour se préparer à partir. Lorsque je suis à un outcall je commence à me préparer quelques minutes avant, aussi. Je dis juste que dans certains cas je ne vais pas me fâcher si la personne dépasse de quelques minutes, à part si c'est parce qu'elle veut que la session continue... dans ce cas là c'est vraiment inacceptable.

 

[LC18]

Have you ever developed feelings for a client?

Yes.

 

[LC18]

if during that time you have sex with a boyfriend/girlfriend, a lover in your civilian/dating life, or someone you just met out someplace or tinder/online just because you want to have sex with them, do you think you act different in bed as a lover than you do with a client.

In my personal life, I have sex with people AFTER I get to know them.

In my work life, I have sex with them THEN I get to know them.

It will never feel the same but both are/can be enjoyable.

 

[Rebaynia]

I have a question for sps that sort of piggybacks on eric757's question.

My question is when you are not working as an SP either because you have a few days off or are on a long hiatus for family, travel or whatever the reason maybe, if during that time you have sex with a boyfriend/girlfriend, a lover in your civilian/dating life, or someone you just met out someplace or tinder/online just because you want to have sex with them, do you think you act different in bed as a lover than you do with a client. Do you ever have trouble differentiating between the two in the heat of the moment? Forget about the envelope and all the other formalities involved with a client appointment. Just as a lover. I am assuming that the boyfriend/girlfriend knows you are an SP but, not necessarily someone you just met. If you act different then in what way are you different?

Wow.. I know I write long sentences, so I am really not one to talk, but I couldn't even break this down into segments to answer parts separately. We do have a lot to include in 1 question sometimes, so I get it, wanting a complete answer instead of needing to keep prying for the answer...

When I am with my bf, (my master) it is a very different emotion braught out to express in my time with him. It doesn't need to be days off as I would gladfully be intimate in that way with him every night if he could. With him I am submissive, with clients I am the one in control. But that aside with clients I am more like I was in relationships I had with other men over the years, I wasn't submissive with them either.

I don't struggle with differentiating as even if I am close with a client, I don't have that feeling of safe and secure with clients that I do with him. My insides have me feeling on guard with clients, as relaxed and fun as I can seem to be. I am always on guard for something going wrong with others that I don't feel when I am with him.

In past say with ff's, back when i was single. It was about having numbers to prevent the emotions for 1 specifically arising while having multiple partners. For me it is easy to have fun with a play partner without having emotions muddle the expierience. Emotions make it more messy and needy than fun.

 

[Michelle Gunn]

do you think you act different in bed as a lover than you do with a client.
Do you ever have trouble differentiating between the two in the heat of the moment?

If you act different then in what way are you different?

Instead of focusing on my client's good time, I focus on my own good time. Not that I'm entirely selfish (and it's always a give and take situation), but don't expect a bj to last much longer than 90 seconds if there's no envelope.

If I'm lost in the heat of the moment, does it really matter if I'm with a friend or a client? And also, no, I've never had trouble differentiating.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

don't expect a bj to last much longer than 90 seconds if there's no envelope.

Thats sad, I feel for your partners!

 

[Fradi]

The problem is people always want to deal in absolutes and black and white, when life is not like that at all.
There are different ways people can love others.
There is the love you have for a wife for your children and grandchildren and long time friends and yes you can have a type of love for an SP or ATF..

I would say that in a way I am in love with my ATF.
She is absolutely gorgeous and one of the kindest young ladies I have ever met.
No I don’t want her as a girlfriend or wife or a significant other and I am quite sure she wouldn’t want that either. I am very happy with the arrangement we have.
She deserves to have someone her own age who will give her the same fairytale life I had with my wife, that is what I would like for her even if that means not being able to see her anymore.
We do however enjoy seeing each other, and I think we try equally hard to be kind and to respect each other. I couldn’t care less about the money part money is meant to be used to make you happy otherwise why work your ass off for it.
I would call it a special type of friendship I don’t think it is just a job for her anymore when we see each other and she is certainly not just another notch on the revolver for me either.

In the end all that matters is if you are happy seeing her.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

The problem is people always want to deal in absolutes and black and white, when life is not like that at all.
There are different ways people can love others.
There is the love you have for a wife for your children and grandchildren and long time friends and yes you can have a type of love for an SP or ATF..

I would say that in a way I am in love with my ATF.
She is absolutely gorgeous and one of the kindest young ladies I have ever met.
No I don’t want her as a girlfriend or wife or a significant other and I am quite sure she wouldn’t want that either. I am very happy with the arrangement we have.
She deserves to have someone her own age who will give her the same fairytale life I had with my wife, that is what I would like for her even if that means not being able to see her anymore.
We do however enjoy seeing each other, and I think we try equally hard to be kind and to respect each other. I couldn’t care less about the money part money is meant to be used to make you happy otherwise why work your ass off for it.
I would call it a special type of friendship I don’t think it is just a job for her anymore when we see each other and she is certainly not just another notch on the revolver for me either.

In the end all that matters is if you are happy seeing her.

I think that's a really good way to describe this type of relationship

 

[Rebaynia]

but don't expect a bj to last much longer than 90 seconds if there's no envelope.

I hear that. Since getting back into this work, bj equals a personal expierience just feeling like more work, and kills the mood for me.
If it's for personal, it is for my pleasure as well, not just his, and I'm not going to have fun if it feels like my partner is just another client. When that happens I just get turned off.

 

[lovethaifood]

If anyone has any experience with the lofts in the old port, please message me if you have the time. I just have some questions. I posted some questions in the hotel page but, the discussion there seems slow.

 

[Giselle Montreal]

If anyone has any experience with the lofts in the old port, please message me if you have the time. I just have some questions. I posted some questions in the hotel page but, the discussion there seems slow.

The Hotel Info forum really is the best place to ask this kind of question! Sometimes it requires a bit of patience.

 

[lovethaifood]

The Hotel Info forum really is the best place to ask this kind of question! Sometimes it requires a bit of patience.

Thanks, I am just trying to book a room soon before they all disappear.

 

[Giselle Montreal]

It's usually not true when they say "only 1 room left!"