Of course we have the right to choose not to see certain clients. The men who think they're owed our time & we don't get a say in who we see because they're paying need to get a clue. Like most SP's I've known, I decline a fair number of requests. There's a big difference between declining an individual for something he's said or done and having a ban on an entire ethnic background or skin color - based on racism.
I don't think anyone thinks a SP should be forced to see anyone she says she does not. It's her choice. However it can't be described as a benign personal preference. It's racist, there's no way to get around that.
I'm not sure how we can compare being short in high school to being black because those are not even a tiny bit comparable.
I am glad that the man described was able to do well in spite of all the racism he faced in life. Imagine how even better he might have done without racism demanding more energy, resilience, learning to cope with trauma, unfairness and harms caused by racist actions and words.
I'm glad for him but the solution isn't that POC should just learn to do things the way he has so they can rise above the racism they face to be successful.
This is completely missing the point. It is not a solution to simply leave the burden got POC to 'overcome' racism against them. Its the rest of us who have to change, put in the work to have a world where no one has to live with racist aggressions and every day reminders that our world was created by and for whites.
Getting back to some SP policies banning black men. Everyone is entitled to personal preference or taste but one that is based on race is racist. There's no other definition, that's exactly what what it is.
Again, I am not perfect and like everyone I am a product of our racist system. I know I've still got some internalized racist beliefs and other behaviors I haven't questioned yet that are so deep into the system.
I've dated all kinds of ethnicities, backgrounds, or skin shades: Asian, black, brown from Colombian to Sri Lankan, Greek, Ashkenazi Jewish, Italian, Austrian+German, Jordanian, Lebanese, Bangladeshi, blue-eyed white, Afghan, and Indigenous...
My preference happens to be men. Beyond that, my preferences are about personality and the types of person someone is. I am not color blind, because I see colors just fine. I do not factor race, skin color, ethnicity in my relationships, whether romantic, sexual or platonic.
Imo there's no neutral racial preference. It may not be deliberate but internalized racism is still racism.
xo