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The OFFICIAL Toronto Maple Leafs DEATH WATCH THREAD.

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joelcairo

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Jul 26, 2005
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Hey guys let's give the leafs some credit. In last night's crucial 4 pointer they solidified their hold on 29th place overall - which by leaf standards is a magnificent achievement. Their fans - both of them - are probably still celebrating this magnificent victory - not only did the leafs beat the only team in the NHL with less points than they have, but they also held that team to a mere 4 goals.

True, Colton Orr and Dion Phaneuf TRIED to give the game away with two stupid, selfish penalties near the end, but to the credit of the leafs they only allowed one goal during that span and held on to beat the 30th place team. Montreal might be having the St. Patty's Day Parade today, but undoubtedly TO will joyously be reserving Yonge Street for a 29th Overall Parade.
 

Cosmo

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Jul 3, 2005
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latest Leaf "wins":

  • depleted, flu-riden Ottawa team
  • Boston team mourning the loss of Savard and missing their captain and best defenseman.
  • Tampa Bay mired in losing streak - (winners of 2 in 9)
  • Oilers (last in NHL)

Yeah lets not forget Ottawa was missing Alfredsson.
 

joelcairo

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Although it's been a long and lingering death (the fatal illness set in 43 years ago), all funeral homes in Toronto are now on full alert: very soon it will be time to prepare the corpse for its official burial. Personally, for this particular rotting leaf corpse, I'd prefer a cremation.
 

joelcairo

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Sympatico posted several special April Fools Day headlines this morning. A hockey-related one stated: "8 NHL teams declare bankruptcy". Well, not likely (not 8 anyway) but possible (hidden figures, creative accounting, etc.).

But what REALLY gave away the show was the next line:"Leafs make playoffs." If you EVER read that, don't bother checking your calendar - you know it HAS to be April Fools Day!
 

joelcairo

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What can we say other than "April 1 was a GREAT day for the leafs"? Let's list some of their achievements:

1. The Internet reported that the leafs were in the playoffs. (True, this was an April Fools Day joke, but it's still the closest the leafs have been to the playoffs in the last half decade - congrats to the leafs!).
2. The leafs won a game - something they very rarely do - and they won it in REGULATION time by TWO (!!!!!) goals - GREAT achievements by leaf "standards".
3. They beat Buffalo - for the first time this season and for the first time in something like their last 10 meetings. The odds against the leafs beating Buffalo are sort of like the odds of getting hit by lightning...twice.
4. With this momentous victory, the leafs solidified their hold on 29th place, someting they are undoubtedly very proud of. They will NOT finish in the cellar (this year anyway).
5. But now...for their GREATEST and PROUDEST achievement of this day, this year, or perhaps any other year...drum roll please...one of their players won a MAJOR individual award! Yes folks, recent acquisition Dion Phaneuf was voted the most overrated player in the entire NHL!! And folks, this award was not voted on by some fat old sportswriters - no sir! Phaneuf was selected for this "honor" (???!!???) by his fellow NHL players, as reported by TSN.

The only bad news for TO on this otherwise glorious day is that Phaneuf's award might cause a rift in the dressing room, as his fellow prima donna Phil Kessel might be jealous, justifiably believing that HE, not Dion, is the most overrated "player" in the league.
 

joelcairo

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Well it's official: the leafs will end the 2009-2010 season in 29th place, very fittingly, since that is where they sat for almost the entire season. What was their brief HIGH point - 26th maybe? They have truly earned the right to their popular nickname of Canada's National Embarrassment - especially after tonight's game! Let's examine the details:

With only pride on the line, the leafs have now lost the last 3 games they have played. Their 5-1 drubbing at the hands of the Rangers (who are not exactly Gretzky's Oilers!) was SO bad that even the battle-hardened TSN crew was shocked at their gutlessness and ineptitude. After the second period, Craig McTavish said "the leafs have to start playing with some pride." The expert panel of James Duthie, McTavish, Ray Ferraro and Bob McKenzie noted that the leaf defense was wretched, coughing up 16 boneheaded giveaways and scoring chances in the first and another eight in the second. With pride on the line, the leafs conclusively showed that they have NO pride (and why would they? They play for the leafs!)

Dion Phaneuf scored his first goal as a leaf (and his first in around 25 games - pathetic!). Needless to say, scoring your FIRST goal in a humiliating 5-1 loss is not exactly scoring when it counts! A totally MEANINGLESS and useless goal, but at least he did score, which is more than Invisible Man Phil Kessel could do!

Phaneuf played for two teams this year - and they BOTH missed the playoffs. Gee, does that make Phaneuf an MVP candidate? Uhh, maybe NOT - but maybe it DOES show why the great Steve Yzerman did NOT want Phaneuf on Canada's Olympic team! Good move Steve - if Dion had suited up for Canada, there's an excellent chance that the US would have taken home the gold!

The 29th place finish (ahead of only ex-leaf boss Pat Quinn's Oilers) makes it very likely that the ill-fated Kessel trade, already voted one of the worst of the year by hockey experts in a recent poll, will give a superstar to the Bruins...while the leafs remain saddled with the Invisible Man.

The TSN guys also pointed out a VERY interesting fact: the leafs have the worst power play in the NHL this year (no surprise) and ALSO the worst penalty kill (again, no surprise AT ALL). THe last time a team held BOTH of these "achievements" (ha ha) in the same season was 94-95. The team was Anaheim, whose coach at the time was...drum roll please....RON WILSON! Surprise, surprise....NOT!

This season has to go down as one of the worst and most embarrassing in history for the few remaining leaf fans in the world...all the more so since they were ignorantly bragging it up before the season and even through the early part of the season, when it was already obvious what a truly wretched bunch of losers this was. Heck, some misguided leaflovers have kept up with their nonsense all season long and are still predicting great things for their heroes. Some people (usually leaf supporters) just can't see, can't understand, and will not admit the simple truth about their hopeless "heroes".

Let's face it: this is a team that's going nowhere, as this season has proven: poor management, abysmal coaching, a lack of talent (and now a lack of key draft picks also!), no scoring, a wretched and cowardly defense, zero pride, and weak or ageing goaltending. Enjoy your future leaf lovers!

Oh and by the way, the arrogant and ineffectual Burkie was quoted on several occasions this year as saying their goal was to make the playoffs. Sorry Brian, but look on the bright side: maybe one day they'll change the format so that 29 of the 30 teams make it to the post season - then you MIGHT have a chance (that is, if the Oilers fail to improve).
 
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gohabsgo

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Aug 27, 2003
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This season has to go down as one of the worst and most embarrassing in history for the few remaining leaf fans in the world...

in fact, here are our two resident village idiots (with their favourite ho) waiting for the parade to start ...

MapleLeafFloat.gif
 

Merlot

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Nov 13, 2008
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Well it's official: the leafs will end the 2009-2010 season in 29th place, very fittingly, since that is where they sat for almost the entire season. What was their brief HIGH point - 26th maybe?

Hello JC,

I like the Leafs much better than the Canadiens, but on behalf of the Boston Bruins I would like to offer my most sincerest thanks to the Leafs for putting the draft picks owed to Boston from the Kessel trade in an extremely favorable position. We truly appreciate the great effort Kessel and the Leafs made all this year long to help out the Bruins. Why win a title when you can help out some "friends". To return the favor I'm sending Doc Holliday an off-season size load of Tylenol for the headaches. No no no...no need to say thank you.

pirate-smiley.gif


Leafs Rock,

Merlot
 
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Doc Holliday

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Sep 27, 2003
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I believe it's official now, the Leafs can't finish better than 29th place this year. Let's hope the B's can make the right choice with their Leaf's pick.

It doesn't mean the B's will pick 2nd. It all depends on how the lottery will go. Personally, like Brian Burke has stated many times, i do hope that they chose 2nd.....or even 1st. They deserve it. They deserve to get the best pick(s) they can out of the deal in order to maximize it. That's the reward they deserve to get for losing a young top-notch free agent. I'd rather Boston get the best pick possible than the likes of Tampa, Florida or the NY Islanders, who don't deserve anything & were the architects of their franchises' own destruction. Boston not only lost its top sniper, they lost many players to injuries & Tim Thomas let them down after signing his big contract. I hope they do make the playoffs & at least finish ahead of the stinkin' Habs & Flyers.

The bottom line is that Toronto was going to lose that pick anyway, whether they finished 29th, 28th or whatever. Nothing changes that. I'd rather see that pick go to the most deserving team, which is Boston. If i were them, i'd trade that pick for another team's #1 pick & other players. Who knows, maybe they could get rid of Tim Thomas' big contract in such a deal, which would help the team immensely.
 

JH Fan

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May 15, 2008
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Sh*t man, you should edit your thread title.

Don't need to watch them...they've been dead for more than 40 years !
 

Jman47

Red Sox Nation
Jan 28, 2009
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Ah hell...I just couldn't resist getting in on the fun...after all a hockey expert recently pointed out to me - "look at the name of the thread...DUH"...

losers800.jpg
 

joelcairo

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Jul 26, 2005
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Courtesy of The Hockey News:

First Guy: Apparently someone has found souvenirs of the last Stanley Cup win by the leafs.

Second Guy: Is he a sports memorabilia collector?

First Guy: No - he's an archeologist!
 

joelcairo

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Jul 26, 2005
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Stewart Francis is a comedian and a leafs fan. (Maybe if you're a leafs fan it's a good idea to have a sense of humor!)

Here's what he wrote for The Hockey News: "I was rewarded with watching the Flames/Oilers game. And what a game it was. I've never seen a regular season game played with such passion - the cost of being a leafs fan, I guess."

Bravo Mr. Francis!
 

G1GBallday

THANK YOU BURKIE !!!
Aug 10, 2003
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Just checking the tire pressure and oil level cause I have a feeling I'll be taking this puppy out of storage VERY SOON! :)
 
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