Quick update for those who may have been in a coma for the last three months:
A virus originating in China has killed 10,000 people globally, 90% of whom were over the age of 70 with pre-existing conditions. In response, the entire western world has closed its borders and shut down its economy proclaiming this to be the greatest threat since WWII, which claimed the lives of 85 million. By way of comparison, the WHO (more on them later) estimates there are approximately 7,000 newborn deaths every single day (seriously). Whereupon…
Dr. Fauci, the chief spokesman for the U.S. government’s corona virus strategy, tells people that he only knows he’s doing the right thing when people tell him “he’s over-reacting”. In response, global markets shed more than $16 trillion in a week, the fastest and largest route in history. This leads to…
President Trump, after promising that the “numbers would go to zero”, authorizing the largest stimulus package in history followed by the Treasury’s strategy of mailing every man, woman, and child $1,000 checks. The Democrats immediately proclaim this response to be insufficient and refuse to approve said package until it is raised to $2,000. Followed by…
California, as a “precaution”, locks down the entire state but releases convicted felons because it needs its police to guard its citizens from spreading said virus. Next…
The WHO condemns the U.S. for attributing the origin of the corona virus to China after praising China for being forthcoming and transparent about the origin of the virus. China responds by immediately expelling American journalists and then the very next day proclaiming it no longer has any cases of the virus. Last but not least…
America’s youth continues to support Senator Sander’s campaign to let the government run every aspect of our lives except when said government orders said youth to stop partying in the midst of a pandemic.
And the most amazing thing to happen this year? Tom Brady is now a Tampa Bay Buccaneer.
Welcome to 2020 folks