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Disturbing Tendencies at Agencies

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Like_It_Hot

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Jun 27, 2010
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Basing your preferences on stereotypes created by the society is racism but I don’t think we’re quite ready for that conversation on merb.
Sorry but I strongly disagree with your interpretation of racism. I have a preference for caucasian brunette not so much toward blonde. A preference is just that... a preference. Racism if when you deny a specific race RIGHTS that are guarantee to others. Black being denied to go at certain hotels or restaurants in the USA in the sixties is a real exemple. Jackie Robinson all time star baseball player could not go with his team at certain places. Stereotypes has nothing to do with racism. Racism is about race. Intimate relations is a personal choice nothing to do with racism.
 

Wallon

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May 23, 2005
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Je me considere chanceux de ne jamais avoir vu encore: ''Pas de petit grassouillet de 60 ans +''...:D
 

new_in_town

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Aug 27, 2021
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Yup. Agree completely.
As a black man, I find this kind of filtering frustrating. For example, I tried to book one of my regulars recently and was told by the booker she doesn't see blacks. I had seen her like 2 times within three weeks before that. When I mentioned and sent him the screenshot of previous booking texts, he booked me with her. I asked her about it and she said yeah, first time they booked you by mistake...but I really like you so I will tell them to make an exception for you.

I actually asked her why she doesn't see blacks guys and she said she had bad experiences before. I understand her, but at the same time, I hate being judged like that. I am a well educated, well travelled gentleman making a quite decent living and just because I am black I am grouped together with the thugs from the ghetto? As someone has already stated, if an SP has not one but then bad experiences with white customers, will she ever say no "whites"? ..

Talking about being discriminated, I travel a lot for work and recently in Japan, I had a funny experience. I went to a soap massage place and I've checked the price before, it was like 200USD. When the booker saw me, he told me (using google translate), that for me, the price is 250. I asked why and he said, big black dick.... I was not man enough to argue but I don't have a BBC, I have an ABC (average black dick)...

But he story has 2 happy endings. One, the usual one. The other, I got a 100$ refunded ...last part was a joke
 
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CLOUD 500

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Jan 10, 2005
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I truly think this new trend is a good thing.
It is not a good thing at all.
It's simple: would you rather being refused at the door / having a terrible experience or know before even booking ?

This preference/racism/its-too-big/my-own-community/whatever you want to call it exist. It happened. It's happening. It will happen.
But with all these restrictions, this is the best way to go about it.
Nobody cares if you like it or not.
Of course not till you are on the receiving end of this type of discrimination.
Let's save time, money, effort and awkward moments for everybody.

If I see my ethnicity being flag out, I'm just gonna be happy that I saved money.

SPs can filter their clients in any way they want. And yes, even if it's because of plain racism, they see whoever they want to see.
I agree with this. It is her right to be racist and discriminate, personally when I see in an ad that asks to state your ethnicity, I just skip it. Save myself time and money.
 

envelopes

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Oct 7, 2019
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but you do agree these call girls are offering a businesslike service and they are not marrying us for the rest of our lives. Yes not Barber or else.....but i laugh when i say intimate. These women have been "had "by so many men that it is not an intimate act anymore but an act and a job . So comparing these escorts to normal women is not fair...especially when they are taking money and supposed to be offering a service .But i guess they can get away with it because we allow it .
"Because we allow it". So they need to have sex with you?

And as for the rest of your comment, I don't even know where to begin. I mean.. seeing these comments from you, sounds like they're probably protecting themself the right way if they screened you out
 

Carl.is.Jung

Resident Psychotherapist (Ret.)
Aug 25, 2021
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So to summarize:

1. Life is not fair, let's collectively get over it.

2. Nobody, and I mean nobody has the right to tell anyone else who they should or must choose to sleep with. (With or without $).

3. Access to a sex worker is not a 'right', it is a PRIVILIGE. Abuse it and lose it.

4. If you have a problem as to why women must screen, take it up with your 'fellow' men who have given women cause for concern over the years. Not the women.

5. Women/Sex workers ARE equal on all levels in our society. (Not the case in many parts of the world). If that's not part of your value system, then consider why you choose to live in or visit this country. Seriously.

6. Let's move on.

7. Mmmmm coffee and fresh air. What more does a man really need? Good Morning :)
 

Mandouke

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Apr 5, 2022
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So to summarize:

1. Life is not fair, let's collectively get over it.

2. Nobody, and I mean nobody has the right to tell anyone else who they should or must choose to sleep with. (With or without $).

3. Access to a sex worker is not a 'right', it is a PRIVILIGE. Abuse it and lose it.

4. If you have a problem as to why women must screen, take it up with your 'fellow' men who have given women cause for concern over the years. Not the women.

5. Women/Sex workers ARE equal on all levels in our society. (Not the case in many parts of the world). If that's not part of your value system, then consider why you choose to live in or visit this country. Seriously.

6. Let's move on.

7. Mmmmm coffee and fresh air. What more does a man really need? Good Morning :)
Very well said!
 

EagerBeaver

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Jul 11, 2003
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I actually asked her why she doesn't see blacks guys and she said she had bad experiences before. I understand her, but at the same time, I hate being judged like that. I am a well educated, well travelled gentleman making a quite decent living and just because I am black I am grouped together with the thugs from the ghetto? As someone has already stated, if an SP has not one but then bad experiences with white customers, will she ever say no "whites"? ..
New_in_town,

I think everyone understands and sympathizes with your frustration at the kind of filtering discussed in your post. But the questions I would ask you are (1) what do you propose to do about it? (The answer is absolutely nothing as far as I can see), and (2) do you really want to see someone who feels that way anyway? (I wouldn't).

I am a white man, and don't pretend to have walked in your shoes, but I am a realist. If I become aware that an SP is judgmental on these kinds of things like race, I am probably going to lose some interest. I realize that the issues mentioned in your post make the actual selection process more difficult for black men, but if an SP or agency is upfront about racial restrictions, doesn't that have the effect of NOT wasting your time and enabling you to have more hobbyist efficiency by simply moving on to "next"? Therefore, instead of being critical of this kind of "out in the open racial restrictions", isn't it actually a positive as it saves you and other men of color the time and expense of booking someone and then having her or the agency later say no, because you are black? I would tend to not want my time wasted and would want someone to tell me upfront.
 

Lunaseraphim

Of the moon
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If you don’t want to have people of colour as clients because you’re not attracted to them. I’m pretty sure you’re not attracted by all of your clients regardless of their race but that would be a preference

If you don’t want to have people of colour as clients because you think “they are bigger down there” “they smell funny” “they are pimps” that’s racism

THIS.
I don't think I know any escort who refuses clients because they aren't attracted to them. LOL they would have no business. Also part of being an escort is being able to provide an experience of connection and intimacy regardless of your level of physical attraction to the person in my opinion, and it's possible to find something attractive about everyone.

Also from my point of view, not being attracted to people who aren't white or who aren't white or asian is racist. When I was 15, a boy who liked me asked me what type of dude I was attracted to. I was like ''idk, he has to be magical and fun and creative and original''. I asked him what his preference was and he said ''white''. I said I didn't want to date him because that's a fucked up thing to say. Regardless of semantics or how you twist it around in your head, if you don't find a whole ethnic group unattractive it's because you have been conditioned by society to be discriminatory towards them. Beauty standards are oppressive. What we are attracted to is not innate.

And please do not compare this to being straight vs being gay because it's different. And even sexual orientation can be fluid.

Using racist stereotypes that are not founded in reality or that are based on a very complex social reality that a white person cannot fully understand unless they educate themselves thoroughly and listen to people around them, as an excuse to refuse clients, is racist also. Point final

Side note: as someone who has clients of all races and has dated all kinds of people, I have not really seen a correlation between race and dick size lol.
 
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Lunaseraphim

Of the moon
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As a black man, I find this kind of filtering frustrating. For example, I tried to book one of my regulars recently and was told by the booker she doesn't see blacks. I had seen her like 2 times within three weeks before that. When I mentioned and sent him the screenshot of previous booking texts, he booked me with her. I asked her about it and she said yeah, first time they booked you by mistake...but I really like you so I will tell them to make an exception for you.

I actually asked her why she doesn't see blacks guys and she said she had bad experiences before. I understand her, but at the same time, I hate being judged like that. I am a well educated, well travelled gentleman making a quite decent living and just because I am black I am grouped together with the thugs from the ghetto? As someone has already stated, if an SP has not one but then bad experiences with white customers, will she ever say no "whites"? ..

Talking about being discriminated, I travel a lot for work and recently in Japan, I had a funny experience. I went to a soap massage place and I've checked the price before, it was like 200USD. When the booker saw me, he told me (using google translate), that for me, the price is 250. I asked why and he said, big black dick.... I was not man enough to argue but I don't have a BBC, I have an ABC (average black dick)...

But he story has 2 happy endings. One, the usual one. The other, I got a 100$ refunded ...last part was a joke
That is all very upsetting.

I'm sorry.
 

Cap'tain Fantastic

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Aug 3, 2011
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Regardless of semantics or how you twist it around in your head, if you don't find a whole ethnic group unattractive it's because you have been conditioned by society to be discriminatory towards them. Beauty standards are oppressive. What we are attracted to is not innate.

And please do not compare this to being straight vs being gay because it's different.
That is, so far, the best answer in this entire thread. It summarizes the entire discrimination process in a very simple and easy to understand way. Now, if you don’t get it, you never will!


*buckling up my seat belt and getting ready to take off! ;)
 

Lunaseraphim

Of the moon
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That is, so far, the best answer in this entire thread. It summarizes the entire discrimination process in a very simple and easy to understand way. Now, if you don’t get it, you never will!


*buckling up my seat belt and getting ready to take off! ;)
getting in that car with you bc it's getting exhausting arguing with ppl with boomer mentalities (yes this was pejorative lol)
 

Nachoy

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Sep 27, 2023
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I’m used to be attracted to mixed race cause they seem to be more open and understanding of race relations
Likely cause they grow up in mixed race environment.
But then being with them and listening to how they talk about certain races due to unreasonable prejudices tells me can just as racist
Though some have trauma and relate it to a specific race and I can understand that
Then I realized a mixed can be as racist as a pure breed person, it’s the internal makeup of the person that more important to me
What attracts me is person who unselfish, open and non racist And that could a person of any pure or mixed race.
 
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Halloween Mike

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9 pages in 2 days lol. I can't spend the time to read all of this but just wanted to add that its a conversation we had many times on merb and the answers are always the same.

There is a group who says "her body her choice" and have no issue, another group who call "rrrrraaaacism" (i litterally used Nerdrotic voice saying it live lol) and then you got the middle peoples who have no opinions.

As for me? As long as something is disclose up front i have no issue with it. If they say no black men, then you know what to expect and just don't call them if you are a black men. I think its way worst to be refused at the door. If an escort had on her profile "no fat man" i would surely avoid contacting her. It may not be the same exact thing but i do love when escorts are open about the type of services they provid because im not gonna waste my time (and hers) contacting someone if she clearly list "all services protected" or "no kissing as i know it mean non-GFE and CBJ.

So if you told right away that your ethnicity is not welcome for WHATEVER reason, move on and see someone else.

Last year or 2 years ago can't remember i noticed a provider i saw way way back (2010) was back at working, but she was only working in the west. I contacted her and ask if we could see each other in Montreal as i knew she was from the province and i told her i saw her back in the day. She said she don't meet in Quebec. That sucks... but it is what it is... I replied "ok i understand" and thats it. There is nothing i can do (well i could had fly to calgary but thats too much money to spend on 1 meeting lol).

In my case i only saw 1 black woman in my 15 years in the hobby (not counting mixed or latinas etc)... Thats not because i don't like black women. Its because i can only meet a certain number of providers in a year and there may had been other providers higher on my list or and in some cases the hourly rate play a part too. I mean i really like Elly at Xo and she is 280h, so she is someone i tend to repeat as long as i can as i know ill be very happy. That leaves less spots open for other providers. There is some white providers i had on my "list" for years but i wasn't able to meet either yet. So if an escort know she can make her $ anyway seeing only a certain clientel, then whatever its her choice.
 
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