Positive discussion about the hobby : Illusions VS Sincerity

[YouVantOption]

YVO, great advices about the websites!

But you know, some men ARE interested in the personal description of the escort and the kind of encounter she is looking for.

I once had a geocities page and it allows you to see in details how many times each page of your site was consulted. Of course, the "portfolio" and "donations" pages are the most popular. But still, the other ones were looked at by an interesting number of people.

I guess you're right though when you say that for clients, it's best if the text on the website is kept to a minimum.

Exactly! when doing website design, think about what the reader wants and make that a priority - looking through your page view statistics is very important, and redeisgn based on that. One of my favorite deisgns was a computer printer company that knew what I wanted. SOmeone gave me an older model of one of their machines, and when I went to the site - upper left-hand corner - a button linked to printer drivers! Well done, well thought out.

On another subject... I also think it's too bad that T76 erased her post.

It is the sad nature of the Internet that those who do not have a lot of courage face to face often become bullies online (but not always - as anyone who has met me knows full well, I'm just as opinionated in real-life)., with the protection of anonymity and a computer screen to protect them from the person they are pushing around. I've had un-rescinded scurillous accusations made on these very pages, & when zen, I shrug, and figure 'whatever'. Not my problem. I've been online long enough to know that it doesn't mean much in the long run.

So T76 - if you wouldn't mind re-posting your post here, or to me by PM, I'd be much obliged and am very curious to read it - I missed it when it was up. My bad, I fell asleep watching the election coverage.

 

[YouVantOption]

Not saying what goes on here is like this example, but ...

It is the sad nature of the Internet that those who do not have a lot of courage face to face often become bullies online

Blog death threats spark debate
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/technology/6499095.stm

Ms Sierra describes the death threats she received on her blog

Prominent blogger Kathy Sierra has called on the blogosphere to combat the culture of abuse online.

It follows a series of death threats which have forced her to cancel a public appearance and suspend her blog.
Ms Sierra described on her blog how she had been subject to a campaign of threats, including a post that featured a picture of her next to a noose.

...

Robert Scoble, author of popular technology blog Scobleizer, condemned the campaign against her.
"It's this culture of attacking women that has especially got to stop. I really don't care if you attack me. I take those attacks in my stride. But, whenever I post a video of a female technologist there invariably are snide remarks about body parts and other things that simply wouldn't happen if the interviewee were a man," he said

Fortunately, the moderators here are very quick to stop any nonsense, they do a bang-up job, even when I'm on the receiving end - I've never had a problem with any of their decisions. </ass kissing>

 

[YouVantOption]

Case in point - Girls on Fire

... if you are French, get someone English to spellcheck and copy-edit your site, especially if you want to attract American visitors over the summer.

https://merb.cc/banner/1172252420gonfbanner.gif

`Most GFE and YMMV girls` this appears on their business cards, too.

YMMV is not a good selling point, it means the girls` services can run hot and cold. Better to say Most GFE and PSE Girls` and leave it at that. Or am I over-caffienated this morning?

 

[YouVantOption]

YVO, on a purely "marketing" point of view, you are absolutely right.

But... Clients don't like to be taken for fools. And sooner or later, they would get that PSE is just a way to camouflage YMMV girls.

Maybe it could hurt more than help in the long run.

You are adovacting for a cration of a 3rd catagory

GFE - kisses, bare-back blowjob, with some smiles, etc.
PSE - covered blojob, colder attitude - some 'fuck me daddys' thrown in.
YMMV - GFE who doesn't want to be a GFE, so avoids kissing, doesn't say 'fuck me daddy' either

YMMV is like saying, 'the girl might not be a good fuck with you', IMO. Not something you want to advertise.

 

[z/m(Ret)]

Didn't come in to defend anyone GG, just pointing out it was sunny in Hobbyland before that same old stormy cloud came to wreck the day.

 

[z/m(Ret)]

YVO, that's not how I understood the meaning of PSE. But hey, I am no hobbyist so what do I know!

I'll still give you ma definition :

I thought PSE was for a girl who likes/wants/sells raw sex.... A bit more "brutal" (of course, not referring to violence here) and dirty than regular sex.

Both yours and YWO's definitions of PSE are not mutually exclusive, the former being curricular, the latter factual.

 

[Chuckles]

My understanding is that, in order to have an argument, two or more "voices" need to be involved (yeah, I mentioned voices and not people - that way, you can still argue with yourself. You might even win once in a while!). If you take away all but one voice, there's no longer an argument... a monologue, maybe, but no argument.

Nothing wrong with an argument - after all, how else do you learn other points of view, even if you think that they're full of crap? However, you don't always have to "win"... As far as the board goes, I'd like to think by now that many of the folks that get involved in heated arguments here have a large enough body of posts for viewers to decide for themselves what kind of people they are. (Of course, if they're newer posters, welllllllll, you might have to work on that.) If that's an okay philosophy, then ask yourself just how badly do you need to respond to what appears to you to be a personal attack. Is "board reputation" THAT important, especially when it involves some posters? And, is that response more to "set the record straight" or more to "defend your/someone else's reputation"?

Guess there's a reason my post count is so low... I'd like to think that the ones who do know me a bit know how to treat anything I might say here w/o getting personal. Perfectly okay to disagree, too - if I'm wrong, I'm wrong, and if I'm right... well, I PROBABLY won't get in your face and do a victory dance. The point is, there's no need for a lot of "defending," unless maybe you truly enjoy being on an internet soap opera... and maybe you do. 'Sokay, honest!

Now, for the original part of the thread... LOL Maybe the majority does go for the illusion. After all, if someone is plunking down hundreds for an oh-too-brief encounter with a SP, why wouldn't one want to think that one is with an awesome lady who wants to be specifically right here, right now? For me, I tend to think more of the "companionship" aspect of an escort than the "service" aspect. Frankly, if I needed to get off that badly, I could save myself the time and trouble (didn't say effort! ) and do it myself. Don't get me wrong - is it nice to have a lady come by the room in a sexy skirt or dress, made up, and looking at me like I am The Man? Sure! But... I much prefer someone to be relaxed and comfortable. For me, anyway, that would be much closer to a GFE. I'd rather a lady be honest and sincere with me than tell me what I want to hear. That doesn't mean she needs to tell me all of her personal life; after all, only mind readers would know what I might do with that info. Point is, I don't need to be flattered all that badly.

Okay, feel free to stop rolling your eyes now. LOL

 

[bumfie]

For God's sake. We pay our money for an illusion, which is what it is. I don't pretend it is more or less than it is. I feel good about it when I get my money's worth, which, fortunately, has been most of the time (my hobby career has been a lucky one).

I recently had an encounter with a girl from Eleganza who is much less than half my age. (I won't repeat her name lest I be accused of shilling or something). During our time together, she made me feel like a long-lost boyfriend.

Why would I ever pretend it was more than a particularly good SP doing her job? Not that there is anything wrong with that.

I can't believe these discussions get started. Enjoy the hobby for what it is - and it is what it is, no more, no less.

 

[Mod 7]

Thread cleaned. Offender suspended for a longer period.

M7

 

[Dee]

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.Jean Giraudoux
French diplomat, dramatist, & novelist (1882 - 1944)​

 

[incognito_NYC]

incognito, I wish more people would think like you.

I have to laugh, personally - don't wory, in a good way

I always say that the world would be a really strange place if there were more people like me.

Better, yes, but strange, too. In a good way!

Thanks!

 

[z/m(Ret)]

The problem with being an indepedent and being able to be 'real' as a result is that sometimes some people can't say goodbyes. I've always been able to. I know where the line is. I cannot say the same for all my clients. Some became too invested and created a fantasy to explain why I was real with them. I even told them it was a fantasy but they didn't believe me.

This would be the case of the illusion turning into its pathological form: a delusion. This concept of GFE with dinner dates, travelling, the whole nine yards is added-value for the client and good business for the SP but my feeling is it exposes providers more to the clients going delusional on them than some clandestine, less rewarding, fuck in an impersonal motel room, correct me if I'm wrong.

 

[bumfie]

bumfie, obsviously, seing that this thread has 7 pages, some people find interesting to question the interaction between an escort and a client.

Ah, Elizabeth, didn't mean to offend anyone. Just stating my own jackass of an opinion on the matter.

And, since I'm still here reading it, I find the thread a bit interesting.

cheers,

Bumfie

 

[YouVantOption]

cleaned indeed! maybe now we can get some peace?

Thread cleaned. Offender suspended for a longer period.

M7

https://merb.cc/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=12682

have a nice vacation M7. I for one appreciate the heavy hand, in both cases.

 

[z/m(Ret)]

I do agree that dinner dates and travel is more likely to lead to delusional thoughts. Although the bottom line is their are clients who are much more likely to become delusional then other clients irregardless of the environment.

It's like violence on TV: what percentage of people actually reproduces in real life the violence their being exposed to by the media? - Easy: take the age 17 to 40 male population of DC, multiply by 100, divide the product by world's population and there you have it.

 

[Love big tits]

Elizabeth if you do return I will hope that you remember that I made the cut off point, pretty much the day you decided to stop being an SP, on the wrong side of the fence. Hope you will send me a PM so I could be near the top of the list for your come back

Yes we all gravitate around the board because we are in the hobby, or have retired but will go back at one poiunt or an other client or SP, if it wasn't so we wouldn't be here.

 

[Love big tits]

Sweet reply coming from you Elizabeth, I will be waiting and anticipating the moment.

 

[skywalker]

Fantacy counts, Reality bites!

Elizabeth,

It is probably too late to start this conversation again. But I found it a rather intriguing topic.

Here are the points I want to make from a semi-retired hobbyist perspective:

The hobby is an “Illusion”. Illusion fulfills “Fantasies”. The fantasy having an “intimate” relationship with someone desirable (vs beautiful) is all the hobbyists want. This intimacy can be only physical (sex acts such as GFE services), emotionally (kisses, caring, sharing lifetime achievements , etc) or even both. Ask GG, he will know

However, even for the hobbyist who is into pure sex-act intimacy, there is a notion that he thinks the SP should be happy to give the service as much as he receives it, and hence the emotional connection and expectation. Otherwise he feels strongly that he is cheated.

For examples, some hobbyists felt cheated when an SP did not offer “2nd SOG”, or “DATY”, or CG, or “stay for an extra 2 minutes”. They became really disappointed because the fantasy was not fulfilled. Reality bites!! It is not a financial lost (or investment) they really care about. It is the “emotional” lost (or investment) that really hurt them.

In order to share an “intimate” relationship with someone, some level of “Sincerity” is expected from the opposite party. The SP’s trick is to make her act appear “sincere” (e.g. moaning, shivering, kissing, caressing, eye contacts or even sharing lifetime achievements maybe ) and hence the illusion is rendered. The hobbyist trick is to fantasize how “sincere” the SP appears in her act and hence he can reach an emotional and physical organism. It is not all about friction and lubrication. It is more about the level of sincerity, intimacy and illusion.

On a related note, while I am shocked to learn that a few long-time respected members such as “banger” have announced their retirements from the hobby, I do see many committed members come and go over the last 2 yrs. Perhaps they have figured out these illusions are no longer working for them any more. It will be interesting to hear how they feel. Many merbites wish GG be the next one to go and stick to it, but that is another story for another day.

Please forgive me if I am cynical. It is probably too much generalization as well. I believe everyone is the same in someway but varies only in the degree and level of details. That might be the fundamental fault in the basis of my theory.

 

[Bucky]

Je n'ai pas beaucoup d'éducation, pas beaucoup d'expérience en relations humaines intimes, alors peut etre que ma vision est fausse. Apres une expérience avec Lisane je me suis posé des questions, célibataire depuis 6 ans, pas beaucoup de contact avec la gente féminine, une faible estime personelle en relation directe avec mon obésité, ma carence affective tout cela a joué sur mon moral, apres cette expérience GFE j'ai plané pendant 2 jours, mais le retour a la réalité fut brutal, meme si elle semblait avoir apprécié la rencontre je devais me faire a l'idée que ce n'était qu'un service payant pas une rencontre romantique. Mais je me demande, est-ce-que l'inverse est possible, la fille qui tombe en amour avec le client, c'est surement arrivé, ca doit etre terrible, et si elle se retire, comment va t'elle se sentir face a un homme, ses réflexes de SP vont peut etre reapparaitre ?

 

[skywalker]

“Sincerity” vs "Honesty"

...

But I have a question for you... As rare as it may be, don't you think an escort can be sincere, not pretend to be, with clients? Don't you think the moaning, the kisses, the smiles, etc, can be genuine?

Elizabeth,

Absolutely! In fact, I think the best case is when both the hobbyist and the SP feel the same way about each other. That is chemistry, which leads to a short term relationship. That is the Holly Gail for a hobbyist. On the other hand, a long term relationship relies on “Trust” and “Honesty”.

The other point I’d like to make have to do with my choice of words:

“Sincerity” is a perception, however, it is not necessary based on facts. On the other hand, “Honesty” relies on some facts that have been checked out. Now, to be “genuine sincere” does not mean to be “brutally honest”. So those white lies between two parties become the essential part of the short-term relationship. It makes the fantasy comes true, an illusion no more.