Serious relationship with a women in the sex industry?
- Thread starter valarie_curves
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I'm sorry, let me disagree with you here(or the lady who told you this): a real decent person(and I say person since not all SP's are straight) would be understanding and accepting of the lady's profession, not judge her or refuse to date her because of it. While I can understand that people have their issues with this profession, any decent person would try and listen to the SP, educate themselves better, and not judge them or jump to conclusions about what they do for a living. If they still have issues with it past that point, and don't believe it would work, then to each their own, and the relationship was never meant to be. Just like we shouldn't expect them to judge us for what we do, we can't judge them for not wanting to date us because of it.
I've had this conversation so many times, especially since I'm still in the dating game myself, and it's extremely hard to find someone who is willing to be accepting of your profession. But those people do exist, and they are the ones who are worth holding out for. Look at all the many, many SP's that are married or in long-term relationships!
I remember having dinner with my brother and my friend who also worked part-time as an SP. She was upset because a guy she had been seeing told her he could never be serious with her because he knew what sort of job she had worked before and that made her a whore. My friend was willing to accept this, and that she should expect that sort of reaction from men, to which my brother just looked her in the eye and told her "NO, you should never accept that type of ignorance! That guy is not worth your time, and the ones who are will love you no matter what you do."
I've also had an ex, after we got together for drinks and I mentioned my new job and how hard it is to date now, tell me I can't expect people to like me after finding out what I do, and that I brought this upon myself by choosing this profession. Well perhaps I'm being ignorant, but I refuse to accept that. There are people out there who will understand that this is your job, and love you no less for it.
This is 2015! The world is a much more understanding place that it was many years ago, and people are finally becoming more accepting of taboo things and educating themselves much more. There's no reason why an SP can't find love and have a meaningful relationship!
L
Lily from Montreal
Well said AmberRose...
What makes me go hum is when I read Rhumdice saying ''real man''...real man? As in chest thumping grunting caveman? sigh...
I agree odds are slim to find a gem of a man not threatened in his manhood by an open relation but same type of odds applies to lottery and there are winners...
What makes me go hum is when I read Rhumdice saying ''real man''...real man? As in chest thumping grunting caveman? sigh...
I agree odds are slim to find a gem of a man not threatened in his manhood by an open relation but same type of odds applies to lottery and there are winners...
It is not a matter of being accepting of a profession. It is a matter of being accepting of your partner having very intimate naked sessions with 10 to 20+ guys a week. Paid or not nobody with any sort of options or self esteem would accept that. It doesn't matter if it is done for cash or fun. The only other exception is if you are talking about someone doing the same thing either again for pay or for free in which case they should be able to accept it unless they are an extreme hyprocrite in which case they are probably not date worthy.
As it stands if an SP ever took a shine to me, I would accept her occupation because she would be the first and based on what I've seen with the bros I've known most likely the last who would. However I doubt if any of you "tolerent" and "understanding" SPs would ever want an otherwise decent fellow who is in his mid 40's and in such a state. As long as you don't nag me too much and don't send me to the poor house, the hospital or prison, sadly speaking I am good to go. Your occupation reduces your desirablity to all but the player and the desperate. You might have better luck if you reduce your standards or just give up.
Likewise if Chuck Norris may peace be upon his name ever made me a pile of hot stuff and got rid of any desire of monogomy I might have, I'd have no problems dating an SP because I'd be doing the same thing she is.
If you expect to find a guy who will accept staying at home watching the big bang theory while you go out and bang other guys... well good luck with that. I'd be shocked if you could respect such a guy for long. There is at least one escort on terb who pretty much said that. The idea that you expect a guy to accept that and anyone won't accept his girlfirend or wife cheating on him constantly is uneducated, not decent and not understanding and ignorent is quite frankly ignorent, not decent, and shows a lack of understanding.
That being said, friends... no problem regardless.
As it stands if an SP ever took a shine to me, I would accept her occupation because she would be the first and based on what I've seen with the bros I've known most likely the last who would. However I doubt if any of you "tolerent" and "understanding" SPs would ever want an otherwise decent fellow who is in his mid 40's and in such a state. As long as you don't nag me too much and don't send me to the poor house, the hospital or prison, sadly speaking I am good to go. Your occupation reduces your desirablity to all but the player and the desperate. You might have better luck if you reduce your standards or just give up.
Likewise if Chuck Norris may peace be upon his name ever made me a pile of hot stuff and got rid of any desire of monogomy I might have, I'd have no problems dating an SP because I'd be doing the same thing she is.
If you expect to find a guy who will accept staying at home watching the big bang theory while you go out and bang other guys... well good luck with that. I'd be shocked if you could respect such a guy for long. There is at least one escort on terb who pretty much said that. The idea that you expect a guy to accept that and anyone won't accept his girlfirend or wife cheating on him constantly is uneducated, not decent and not understanding and ignorent is quite frankly ignorent, not decent, and shows a lack of understanding.
That being said, friends... no problem regardless.
A real man does not cheat on his woman nor does he accept that sort of behavior from his women.
From what I've seen most players are a most base sort of chap not worthy of a real woman's attentions.
L
Lily from Montreal
What's this obsession with ''real''woman? ''real''man? there is no such thing ...just different human (hopefully) being with different realities,none better then the others...
L
Lily from Montreal
Hehe i read what i posted here previously about my own relationship... which has now been over for quite a while.
Ultimately, I still stand by what I said, monogamy will never be for me.
But I will add this recent reflection.
I may not have the energy to do both at once.
As a courtesan, I have a few long term regular gentlemen in my life, whom i do consider my lovers, and i do (gladly) spend my energy, even outside of paid time, to show them i care and appreciate them being in my life. It is pretty much a full time commitment.
Being in a relationship on top of it would leave me with very little self care and rest time, which I also need more of in order to keep providing great service and caring for the above gentlemen.
I am perfectly ok with this, and I do believe there are more than a few guys or gals out there whom I could very well click with and have something meaningful with, I'm just aware my career would definitely suffer from it.
I guess in this field, more than any others, one must put themselves first, and being single is really not the end of the world, especially when one is surrounded by wonderful lovers
Ultimately, I still stand by what I said, monogamy will never be for me.
But I will add this recent reflection.
I may not have the energy to do both at once.
As a courtesan, I have a few long term regular gentlemen in my life, whom i do consider my lovers, and i do (gladly) spend my energy, even outside of paid time, to show them i care and appreciate them being in my life. It is pretty much a full time commitment.
Being in a relationship on top of it would leave me with very little self care and rest time, which I also need more of in order to keep providing great service and caring for the above gentlemen.
I am perfectly ok with this, and I do believe there are more than a few guys or gals out there whom I could very well click with and have something meaningful with, I'm just aware my career would definitely suffer from it.
I guess in this field, more than any others, one must put themselves first, and being single is really not the end of the world, especially when one is surrounded by wonderful lovers
Hehe i read what i posted here previously about my own relationship... which has now been over for quite a while.
Ultimately, I still stand by what I said, monogamy will never be for me.
But I will add this recent reflection.
I may not have the energy to do both at once.
As a courtesan, I have a few long term regular gentlemen in my life, whom i do consider my lovers, and i do (gladly) spend my energy, even outside of paid time, to show them i care and appreciate them being in my life. It is pretty much a full time commitment.
Being in a relationship on top of it would leave me with very little self care and rest time, which I also need more of in order to keep providing great service and caring for the above gentlemen.
I am perfectly ok with this, and I do believe there are more than a few guys or gals out there whom I could very well click with and have something meaningful with, I'm just aware my career would definitely suffer from it.
I guess in this field, more than any others, one must put themselves first, and being single is really not the end of the world, especially when one is surrounded by wonderful lovers
Very well said
This is a fascinating thread, and something I've thought about a lot, since I've fallen pretty damn hard for 4-5 escorts in my life. It's human nature to want to generalize about this stuff, but ultimately that's the problem when discussing it: something that seems unwise or even impossible to one person may be eminently feasible and even desirable to someone else. Of course a "serious relationship" with an escort is possible! But it's not necessarily for everyone, or for even most people. And, on top of everything, many escorts and clients deal with a variety of personal demons, so to speak, or, at the least, are unconventional and rather quirky people, all of which can complicate relationships forged even under the best of circumstances.
From my own experience I'd say this: if you do find yourself falling in love with an escort, it's pretty important to be gentle with yourself. It's also important to be gentle with your beloved, even if she does not reciprocate. It's not her fault: chemistry cannot be forced, or her life situation may not allow room and desire for a relationship. In fact, chances are, it won't "work out" (whatever the fuck that means) or even get off the ground (for example, I'm pushing 50... not an obvious selling point with someone 20-25 years younger...). But if the feelings are genuine, if what you feel for the person is rooted in gentleness and kindness and caring -- rather than an ego trip or a desire to "save" someone or to court danger -- then why not explore that? When I've fallen for an escort, it hasn't been despite the fact that she's an escort. It's because being an escort - or the personality traits and life circumstances that led her to become an escort - is part of who she is, every bit as much as her smile or her sense of humor. Life is a great adventure. Be curious and open to whatever happens. Maybe you will fall into a love affair, maybe you will be hurt, maybe you will develop a friendship to last a lifetime. But you won't know at all if you simply shut down unthinkingly. There are beautiful souls in all walks of life.
From my own experience I'd say this: if you do find yourself falling in love with an escort, it's pretty important to be gentle with yourself. It's also important to be gentle with your beloved, even if she does not reciprocate. It's not her fault: chemistry cannot be forced, or her life situation may not allow room and desire for a relationship. In fact, chances are, it won't "work out" (whatever the fuck that means) or even get off the ground (for example, I'm pushing 50... not an obvious selling point with someone 20-25 years younger...). But if the feelings are genuine, if what you feel for the person is rooted in gentleness and kindness and caring -- rather than an ego trip or a desire to "save" someone or to court danger -- then why not explore that? When I've fallen for an escort, it hasn't been despite the fact that she's an escort. It's because being an escort - or the personality traits and life circumstances that led her to become an escort - is part of who she is, every bit as much as her smile or her sense of humor. Life is a great adventure. Be curious and open to whatever happens. Maybe you will fall into a love affair, maybe you will be hurt, maybe you will develop a friendship to last a lifetime. But you won't know at all if you simply shut down unthinkingly. There are beautiful souls in all walks of life.
Love is a very powerful thing, you never know how you will react until you are in that situation.
I had one of the most wonderful 6 years relationships with an SP. Yes she was in the business and we lived together and it was wonderful. She left the business and eventually left me, but we remain good friends to this day but do not sleep together it happens ! There is obviously emotion when you are having sex with someone and the sparks can fly, in my case it lit a fire that I am glad burned so brightly for those 6 years. Currently I am single
it happens ! There is obviously emotion when you are having sex with someone and the sparks can fly, in my case it lit a fire that I am glad burned so brightly for those 6 years. Currently I am single Ladies and Gentlemen,
I think the best part of this thread is the underlying contradiction of the question. Can someone please tell me, what is the basic difference of women taking money to sleep with many men versus men paying money to sleep with many women. Isn't the only difference paying versus profiting? Aren't we all the same? Aren't we all working the sex industry? Is a penis more immune or holier than a vagina??? So what's with the implied element of the question that says the women are doing something dirtier than we are.
Fascinating huh Spock,
Merlot
I think the best part of this thread is the underlying contradiction of the question. Can someone please tell me, what is the basic difference of women taking money to sleep with many men versus men paying money to sleep with many women. Isn't the only difference paying versus profiting? Aren't we all the same? Aren't we all working the sex industry? Is a penis more immune or holier than a vagina??? So what's with the implied element of the question that says the women are doing something dirtier than we are.
Fascinating huh Spock,
Merlot
There is none. However unless you are extremely wealthy there is no way you are going to get the numbers up there via paid sex that someone working does.
The difference between a hobby and a profession.
How about this though. Next time you meet a civie female, tell her that you will get in a relationship with her but you will continue your hobby and see how well that goes down. Nobody would judge the female in this case for saying hell know, most would think there is something wrong with her unless she was in a similar sexual situation. The only way that is going to work is if you have fame oozing out of your ass or you are swimming in cash... or again there is something wrong with the girl.
So no contradiction.
Also women seem to seek out male sluttiness or at least not mind it much more. Some might call it a double standard but really, getting your n count in the hundreds as a female just requires the desire to do so, the ability to leave the house and not be utterly terrified of men. For a guy to get there [without paying for it] requires one to have exceptional attributes and abilities. Also until women start shoving their vaginas into men there is a difference.
Hello all,
LOL, okay Austin Powers. Yeeeaaaah BABY!!!
So we already know most "civies" of either gender have both a poor view of sex for money and one partner being faithful versus the other partner being and alley cat. It's a normal human impulse to be on the same commitment level as your SO.
Are you suggesting men with the same feeling are more unfairly judged. I've had many experiences with both genders where there's a built in imbalance of attitudes toward sexual promiscuity. Women seem to be more judgmental of their own while men tend to act like another guy is a pussy if he doesn't take every opportunity.
Yeah, men get away with this more often, and I have known plenty of women who help them get away with it, but no more than the men who see it mostly as being a stud.
Sorry but this is pure double standard. I simply don't put any less responsibility on either gender for choosing what they do or hold either to different standards for whatever reason...especially not because of the design or function of their genitals.
Merlot
LOL, okay Austin Powers. Yeeeaaaah BABY!!!
So we already know most "civies" of either gender have both a poor view of sex for money and one partner being faithful versus the other partner being and alley cat. It's a normal human impulse to be on the same commitment level as your SO.
Are you suggesting men with the same feeling are more unfairly judged. I've had many experiences with both genders where there's a built in imbalance of attitudes toward sexual promiscuity. Women seem to be more judgmental of their own while men tend to act like another guy is a pussy if he doesn't take every opportunity.
Yeah, men get away with this more often, and I have known plenty of women who help them get away with it, but no more than the men who see it mostly as being a stud.
Sorry but this is pure double standard. I simply don't put any less responsibility on either gender for choosing what they do or hold either to different standards for whatever reason...especially not because of the design or function of their genitals.
Merlot
Are you suggesting men with the same feeling are more unfairly judged.
....
Sorry but this is pure double standard. I simply don't put any less responsibility on either gender for choosing what they do or hold either to different standards for whatever reason...especially not because of the design or function of their genitals.
Merlot
1: Have you been reading this thread. Guys who are not willing to accept their significant others fucking hundreds of different guys over the course of the year are "not decent" "Not understanding" "judgemental" "ignorent" and suffering from a "lack of education". OK I had to put in a few qualifiers to simplify things but still. I can't imagine even these same people judging a female who refuses to date a guy who fucks 20 different girls a weak. If you want to talk double standard, that is a double standard.
2: Yes it is a double standard... well not really because there are significant and relivent differences. To reference one very sex positive female who was probably quoting someone else, sex is one of the most invasive things you can legally do to another person. This obviously applies more to the female of the species [OK I suppose fisting but still].
Sometimes it is perfectly cromulent to have a double standard.
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