Staying single for the rest of your life?

[Rebaynia]

I would think, you find group activities of things you like to do instead of just doing it alone, and see if threw making friendships while doing these activities someone might just be compatible.

I have never known a successful meetup at a bar to find a relationship. Unless your the type of person who likes going out to bars on the regular. I've only known then to be hookup locations, not places to find a relationship.

Depending what age you are, and are looking to connect with, there are community events and centers everywhere that offer an array of things that can be done. This is an active city, not a small town with nothing to do.

 

[Fradi]

It really depends on individual circumstances.
I was married for over 35 years to the woman of my dreams, who I lost to cancer 11 years ago.
There is really nothing in life that compares to being in love with a woman who shares your love, your life, and who you have a family with.
I have tried going out with a few women, one in particular who I knew well who also lost her husband a while back, but found that it would always end with a comparison that no other woman would be able to live up to.
I am not really interested in dating or a relationship as I have realized it won’t work, most women in my age bracket I don’t find attractive, they come with a shit load of baggage, I am not interested in dealing with their family or being their financial benefactor and to pick up the pieces of a life they have screwed up.
I am fine with my life, I see my children and grandchildren often during the week they live walking distance from me, I have my friends that I play golf with, see socially go often on vacations that I take my family on.
I have been seeing my ATF for a number of years now, we are friends she is not only gorgeous but an amazingly kind and nice young lady I also see another young lady occasionally so for me that is enough, no commitments, no baggage, just fun with ladies that I like and always look forward to see.

 

[wtvmark]

I've tired doing the event things like saying events. Singles nights. Took some classes. Improve, dance, yoga, various fitness and activities.
You say hi to someone they look like a deer in headlights. Even if it's just to make conversation. At dance classes I ended up quitting cause I couldn't find a practice partner.
And anytime I have managed to get a date, they just want someone to take them out but aren't looking.
I'd rather go to the dentist for a root canal then do this anymore.

 

[maymay]

I've tired doing the event things like saying events. Singles nights. Took some classes. Improve, dance, yoga, various fitness and activities.
You say hi to someone they look like a deer in headlights. Even if it's just to make conversation. At dance classes I ended up quitting cause I couldn't find a practice partner.
And anytime I have managed to get a date, they just want someone to take them out but aren't looking.
I'd rather go to the dentist for a root canal then do this anymore.

I joined a walking group at one point, the main issue today i guess is that everything is based on aesthetics and looks. I met a few women in the walking group but they all seemed desperate. Some people cannot live alone and need someone asap.

I also been to singles nights and its always the same the feeling i get those women carry extreme baggage, they look desperate, lots of them try to look younger, but it just doesn't fit them. Like you said it might be best to stay single then be in those relationships.

I would not join a dance class or yoga Pilates because i am not interested in those activities, but i have no doubt about what you are saying when you try to talk to a women.

I had the same thing done to me, they look at you weird.

 

[maymay]

I would think, you find group activities of things you like to do instead of just doing it alone, and see if threw making friendships while doing these activities someone might just be compatible.

I have never known a successful meetup at a bar to find a relationship. Unless your the type of person who likes going out to bars on the regular. I've only known then to be hookup locations, not places to find a relationship.

Depending what age you are, and are looking to connect with, there are community events and centers everywhere that offer an array of things that can be done. This is an active city, not a small town with nothing to do.

Like wtvmark said it does not work I also tried a few things like this waste of time

 

[Giselle Montreal]

but they all seemed desperate.

they look desperate

What does "look desperate" mean, what does it look like?

 

[maymay]

What does "look desperate" mean, what does it look like?

They want to get into a relationship no matter what. They don't care with who as long as they have someone, or afraid to be alone or be single for too long

 

[PSEfreak]

What does "look desperate" mean, what does it look like?

That's a good question.
I assume what he means is a vibe, a energy and a feeling of desperation. You can almost taste it, its in the air around them. You can see it. Men can sense it and the evil one's take advantage of it.
There are a lot of "desperate" woman (and men for that matter) out there. The reasons for the "desperation" vary, but those individuals are absolutely out there.
It's sad.

 

[skarsga]

Nothing wrong with being single and happy.
Nothing wrong with being in some form of relationship and happy.

Solitude and loneliness to me describe the joy and pain of the same experience - being alone.

I think it's rude to judge other people for being or looking desperate, if all they are doing is looking for happiness or to ease their own suffering. I wish them luck!

 

[maymay]

Nothing wrong with being single and happy.
Nothing wrong with being in some form of relationship and happy.

Solitude and loneliness to me describe the joy and pain of the same experience - being alone.

I think it's rude to judge other people for being or looking desperate, if all they are doing is looking for happiness or to ease their own suffering. I wish them luck!

Who is judging i am just saying stop overthinking everything.

 

[nico61]

The existential question is are we as men or women meant to be alone? After being in a relationship for 31years, I am living alone now.
Kids have moved out. I am living a life now that I did not ask for. It was handed to me because of circumstances beyond my control.
My whole life changed after my wife’s death.
Everything that I did as a couple went 360.
It was a mental, physical impact I was never prepared for. The impact of social media has changed men and women’s thinking and outlook. It’s turned us into a colder disposable society. Honestly, I think after talking and going on a few dates with some women. Some feel they don’t need a man anymore.
that’s what I’m experiencing in the after 50 age group.

 

[MCTJ]

The existential question is are we as men or women meant to be alone?

Short answer: no.

I find interesting to have read over the years stories of "older" clients, who, after having lost their wives of many years, have found some form of satisfaction or even happiness using escort services.

My reading of the situation regarding younger habitual clients (less than 35) is that the picture is much darker. We are the products of parental divorce or broken families, in many cases (the same can probably be said of the majority of escorts). Our sexual brains have been messed up by free HD porn. Our relational brains have been confused by dating apps (which I am told people are finally getting.fed up with)

I will not share all the details of my personal story here, but I have been single all my life and I am not happy.

The key to happiness in life is meaningful, high quality relationships.

Plot twist: is happiness in life that important? That's another existential question. For more information, ask Victor Frankl.

 

[skarsga]

Not any of these are questions that have a simple or set answer. Some people meant to be alone and happy, some alone and miserable, etc.

Everyone is built differently, therefore the key to happiness for each person will be different to some extent.

 

[Enjoying life]

Not any of these are questions that have a simple or set answer. Some people meant to be alone and happy, some alone and miserable, etc.

Everyone is built differently, therefore the key to happiness for each person will be different to some extent.

There needs to be more appreciation for others I find!

 

[masterfreak]

Apprivoiser la solitude en vieillissant me semble un avenue inévitable
Les relations amoureuses sont très complexes et compliqué de nos jours
Les expériences de vie sont des apprentissages pour nous permettre de savoir ce qu'on aime et où veut on investir notre énergie
Certain on le bonheur de rencontrer une autre personne qui va combler tous leurs besoins
Malheureusement pour moi j'ai pas encore réussi à trouver cette âme soeur
Chaque personne change dans son parcours de vie
L'amoureuse que je rencontre aujourd'hui ne sera pas la même dans 5 10 15 ans moi pareillement
Les intérêts changent l'apparence et les corps aussi
La complexité des relations amoureuses est un obstacle important pour plusieurs solitaires endurcis
Tous les être humains ont eu le coeur brisé
Pour plusieurs la confiance en l'amour est ébranlé à jamais
Ouvrir son coeur malgré les blessures est un aspect essentiel pour avoir l'espoir d'y croire
Apprendre à s'aimer soi-même est aussi le travail d'une vie
Je vous souhaite à tous de trouver cette être chère à moi aussi.

 

[jeffrey4]

 

[maymay]

View attachment 91323

Said by Jim Carrey but those are very wise words, its true the more i am alone the more i feel good, dealing with people that depends if you surround yourself with good people they won't drain your energy. True friends will always be there when you are in need. Great quotes thanks for sharing

 

[CLOUD 500]

I never understood the present day glorification of being alone. There is nothing good about it. Ask those who are alone what it is really like, usually seniors. I see it at the stripclubs often older men trying to buy love because they are lonely. It is one of the reasons men have it much worse in a break up then women because women usually have much more larger and more supportative social circles. See what covid lockdowns did, loneliness is destructive.

 

[maymay]

I never understood the present day glorification of being alone. There is nothing good about it. Ask those who are alone what it is really like, usually seniors. I see it at the stripclubs often older men trying to buy love because they are lonely. It is one of the reasons men have it much worse in a break up then women because women usually have much more larger and more supportative social circles. See what covid lockdowns did, loneliness is destructive.

I have been like this since my teenage years, i will agree with you some people cannot live alone or be alone. I do fairly well on my own because i invest in passions, i keep busy. I rather be alone then with so called friends who always put you down, make you look like an idiot when you meet women and are jealous. After my separation I tried to meet women, but you see what's out there, are you willing to be with someone who as kids, maybe the person as adult kids but soon they will have kids of there own, and will they ask there mom to babysit the kids.
This is far fetch i know but its reality. I have plans for my retirement to move from Montreal to maybe Quebec city and if I have a women with me who has a family here and kids she will never want to leave with me, as for me my mother is all i have left when she is gone i am all alone.

There is no glorification of being alone, its based on reality. The older men you say who try to buy love at the strip club is very sad indeed, but with life experience they should know better.
Shelters are full of animals that are lonely and ready to be adopted and loved. I just adopted 2 cats recently, they are older cats and no one wanted them because of this, they were in the cages for a long time.

For people who are truly alone maybe they should stop going to strip clubs and look for activities they can do to meet other people. I have good friends that i still see we go out to eat, laugh have fun etc.

 

[CLOUD 500]

I have been like this since my teenage years, i will agree with you some people cannot live alone or be alone. I do fairly well on my own because i invest in passions, i keep busy. I rather be alone then with so called friends who always put you down, make you look like an idiot when you meet women and are jealous. After my separation I tried to meet women, but you see what's out there, are you willing to be with someone who as kids, maybe the person as adult kids but soon they will have kids of there own, and will they ask there mom to babysit the kids.
This is far fetch i know but its reality. I have plans for my retirement to move from Montreal to maybe Quebec city and if I have a women with me who has a family here and kids she will never want to leave with me, as for me my mother is all i have left when she is gone i am all alone.

There is no glorification of being alone, its based on reality. The older men you say who try to buy love at the strip club is very sad indeed, but with life experience they should know better.
Shelters are full of animals that are lonely and ready to be adopted and loved. I just adopted 2 cats recently, they are older cats and no one wanted them because of this, they were in the cages for a long time.

For people who are truly alone maybe they should stop going to strip clubs and look for activities they can do to meet other people. I have good friends that i still see we go out to eat, laugh have fun etc.

Alone is doable when you are young. The issues arise when you get into your senior years. Things quickly change and often you develop health issues. It is just harder to live in solitude if you got health issues or are on a wheelchair or a cane. It is especially important in your senior years to have a companion.