I do agree taking care of my mother who walks with a cane i am living it right now. But for me at my age were to you want me to find someone. This is the big issue,. For my part i train and keep fit, have regular check up at my doctor and keep a healthy weight. I just don't see myself getting into a relationship (with life experience i have ) knowing its not for me and i will be miserable only to have someone with me. There are services you can use sometimes my mother needs to go to her doctor or dentist etc, i am at work i cannot take her she does not drive anymore, there is a service she uses that does that, someone will drive you to your appointment etc, service is free still my mother gives the person a good tip for time etc.
Staying single for the rest of your life?
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Yeah, more men need to start actually caring about the people in their life. Women have friends while men often have "buddies", if that makes sense. What I mean by that is that women tend to support each other and care for each other in ways that men don't - I can call my girl friends crying about something but know very few men who can say the same about their guy friends, and I think that's quite sad. I wish more nen developed relationships that aren't just surface level and I wish they felt more comfortable with expressing feelings that aren't happy, horny or angry (so their support system could actually be there for them when needed, because it isn't good to bottle everything up).
When you're a men you learn pretty fast that no one really gives a fuck about your problems. Might sound harsh and out of synch with the current messaging but that's the way it is. Doesn't mean we don't have people we can have deep conversations with or that we don't support each other when the need arises. Just that wasting hours crying on the phone is pointless.
I'm also not sure I agree with the generalizations that some have made about women having better social circles. In my very limited experience, women have a lot of intense short-lived friendly friendships whereas men have more longer, stable friendships. Its anecdotal, but one of my female coworkers made the remark that men are more loyal in friendship than women when I told her I was going camping for a week with my best friend from high school. I certainly have a better network of friends than my ex.
Most of my inner circle is composed of friends I've had since high school or CEGEP. Lost a few along the way but that's life. I'd say our issue is more about letting new people in after a while, but I think this is something everybody experiences as they get older.
This, also a lot of women don't support each other either they are great actors who pretend to care and backstab each other in the back. I have seen this so many times, from men and women.
At one point I was very active on facebook and had a lot of so called friends people from high school, college, people i used to hang out with, a lot of them came to me for help when they had issues with there computer, they never paid me, and all i did was free of course because having a computer is a luxury and no one should pay for repairs.
At some point i was layed off at a job, a lot of those people that I help worked in good companies Montreal and around and yet no one offer me hey send me your CV i can help you or I will talk to HR see if i can get you in.
All I got were sad replies sorry that sucks. Then I started to see the big picture each time we took my car to go out in Montreal because those people did not want to take there's. I got a parking ticket because i listen to one of those idiots and park meter would cost less money, he never offered to pay half, gas money never. Hey buy you a drink.
Now I am not saying there are no good people out there, I rebuild my circle of fiends, those people we can trust and are good people, but if I look back at my younger years the people there were shit.
I learn that in life you are alone, and you can't count on anyone, when the time comes you will see who your true friends are. When I started to charge for support in IT 70$/h i lost a lot of people around me yet a reasonable price if i need to reinstall the whole pc.
You are taking care of yourself which is most important! So many people live with each other but are not happy!
That is the main issue, a younger women at my job got separated September of last year, she is 29 was in a 9y relationship she got dumped for another women, the guy did that to is ex with her too.
She is all over the place even go into an open relationship with a guy who had a bunch of other women. She spoke to me about all this and was discouraged. I told her why don't you take a step back relax and enjoy life, you are trying too hard, she goes on dates comes back to work and you can see it in her eyes poor girl is discourage.
I feel for the younger generation, lots of them stay single and don't even bother chasing women anymore. I been online some 50y old women told me that i had no tattoos it was a deal breaker for her. I am sorry but for me I feel there is simply no hope the world is way to fucked up today.
Thanks for posting. I'm in a similar boat - 49yo, single, never married and done with dating. After 30, women lose their physical appeal so there needs to be a real connection, which is very rare. I have my friends, hobbies, volunteering (including church) and call an escort occasionally to take care of the itch (I'm 49, not dead). While the reality is far from what I wanted out of life, i.e., a family, it is what it is. I try to make the best of it.
very very very well said. You are so right about a real connection, today even with older women its superficial, most do not accept the fact they are aging so they get full of tattoos and piercings, different hair colour that does not fit them, and they think of themselves as a prize to be won they are far from it. Of course you have your outburst online dating, the ones that modify there profile saying they been online for X amount of time and yet are tired of wasting time, if you are not 6 feet fit, etc etc don't text me i am tired.
Its like a play in a theatre. You are the spectator witnessing all this and you cannot but laugh at the whole situation and wonder how people go to this point.
Ho yes its sad but being a good guy won't cut it in this day and age
Another comment about women becoming residue of the society after 30. Can people take responsibility about their marital status, and not always blame women for being the reason of their celibacy?
In any relationship, a connection has to exists. Whatever their age. And a cute body doesn't assure you a good connexion with someone either.
This thread has some toxic comments in it.
I agree with you Giselle. Not to mention, I know plenty of women over 30 who are absolutely gorgeous - often moreso than when they were in their 20s. Some people are simply attracted to youth as opposed to a variety of features, so they think women automatically expire the second our prefrontal cortex finishes developing.
Exactly! I was NOT sexy in my 20s. My body and confidence are at their best in my 30s and I intend to bring this with me in my 40s.
Everyone ages, some people look good as they age others don't, its all about good genetics, how you lived your life younger, smoking, alcohol, partying, drugs, junk food.
This applies to men and women and not only women. There is a quote that men age like fine wine and women like sour milk, I do think its highly exaggerated. Its not about look its about what people want and there high expectations compare to what they have to offer.
You cannot beat father time no matter how much you invest in surgery, botox, aesthetic treatments, you cannot stop nor reverse aging.
Forget looks and go by life experience, both people age and get baggage, this is what happens, you get life experience you learn. Lots of people today will have kids, all i met so far were single mothers, I never had kids, I talk with them and find out we have nothing in common, past a certain age finding someone good luck. Either they live in a world of delusion and have super high standards for what they offer in return, and most people i met are not ready to invest in serious relationship.
Other people will settle down with anyone after a certain age only to be with someone, and not be lonely. There is a tone of benefits staying single as you age vs getting back in relationship now a lot of men and women remain single after the age of 40 and up, they tried to meet and its chaos. Not only men but women too have it hard after a certain age. Its a jungle out there.
I was talking to a women friend who was 45 went back to University she met this 48 old guy on a dating site, they met a few times and it click was going great, one weekend she told him she could not see him because she had a project at university that she needed to finish by Monday, the guy got mad and blocked her. You see were this is going it makes no sense at all.
If someone is unhealthy and putting on dangerous weight and does not respect the partners wish to change then they are bringing nothing to the table and just leave! I know of so many that do not have a healthy lifestyle and don’t want to change yet they think they are entitled to be with a healthy partner as you want to make a good impression! Ive been working out 19 years and avoid processed meats! Its not easy but nothing in life is!
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