I always look for a smile and a welcoming sign then you can engage ! Don’t put your face in front of hers as that’s being stupid!That's really rude...I'm sorry you experienced that. I've experienced similar things from both men and women...
I understand your frustration, but... Remember, you're not entitled to anybody's attention. Getting courted by random people as a woman can feel threatening. It's not entitlement to be upset at unwanted attention... That's why initially I commented that you have to make sure the context is appropriate to approach somebody. I think it's okay to try to flirt with women at a club, it's socially appropriate, but a lot of women are just there to have fun and not to be flirted with, so it's important to not take the rejection personally.
I don't like it when random men approach me in public, it makes me feel really uncomfortable. It's not because I'm entitled and have a large ego. It can be overwhelming to be constantly talked to by strangers. I know I'm not the only person who feels that way.
Approaching women
- Thread starter MmiG
- Start date
My sp could not understand why I did not play for her so I did and made her smile!
That's my personal opinion but I think it's kinda bullshit for women to expect men to pay for everything when it comes to civ dating.. Unless the man makes more money than her. But idk it's not in my dating criteria for the person to have a lot of money.. Other than being able to take care of themselves. I've often been in the opposite situation, dating men who expected me to pay for things and baby them..
It's nice to be spoiled by your partner but I think it goes both ways. At least you figured out what this woman's values are and realized that they don't match yours. You wouldn't have enjoyed dating her anyways.For sure, that's the thing.. A lot of men will approach you without trying to figure out if you're open to being talked to or not. And not being open to being flirted with isn't personal... Obviously being a cute girl a lot of guys will approach you, but that doesn't mean you want to flirt with any of them.
And maybe there's going to be one person who interests you because you're sensing a real connection or the person was very clever and subtle.. There's an art to seduction. I have a friend who's not particularly attractive physically, but he gets so much attention from girls, because he knows how to talk to them. He's interesting and charming and funny and he knows not to push boundaries. He clearly works on himself and he is a good person and a curious and talented individual.
In my opinion in order to attract attention from anybody, you have to work on yourself. You have to cultivate interests, work on personal projects, do self care, question yourself, educate yourself, etc. People are attracted to individuals who work on their talents and have hobbies (not this one lol) and interests and have interesting subjects to talk about. I also understand what it's like to be socially awkward, but even if you're a bit weird, there's a way to turn this to your advantage.
embrace your individuality.
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Yes! Find a common ground and engage with her! I get gifts for my sp cause she gives me her all and it’s not easy driving to someone who lives far from you! she really appreciates that!That's my personal opinion but I think it's kinda bullshit for women to expect men to pay for everything when it comes to civ dating.. Unless the man makes more money than her. But idk it's not in my dating criteria for the person to have a lot of money.. Other than being able to take care of themselves. I've often been in the opposite situation, dating men who expected me to pay for things and baby them..
For sure, that's the thing.. A lot of men will approach you without trying to figure out if you're open to being talked to or not. And not being open to being flirted with isn't personal... Obviously being a cute girl a lot of guys will approach you, but that doesn't mean you want to flirt with any of them.
And maybe there's going to be one person who interests you because you're sensing a real connection or the person was very clever and subtle.. There's an art to seduction. I have a friend who's not particularly attractive physically, but he gets so much attention from girls, because he knows how to talk to them. He's interesting and charming and funny and he knows not to push boundaries. He clearly works on himself and he is a good person and a curious and talented individual.
In my opinion in order to attract attention from anybody, you have to work on yourself. You have to cultivate interests, work on personal projects, do self care, question yourself, educate yourself, etc. People are attracted to individuals who work on their talents and have hobbies (not this one lol) and interests and have interesting subjects to talk about. I also understand what it's like to be socially awkward, but even if you're a bit weird, there's a way to turn this to your advantage.
That is exactly it. You have to work on yourself... alwaysThat's my personal opinion but I think it's kinda bullshit for women to expect men to pay for everything when it comes to civ dating.. Unless the man makes more money than her. But idk it's not in my dating criteria for the person to have a lot of money.. Other than being able to take care of themselves. I've often been in the opposite situation, dating men who expected me to pay for things and baby them..
For sure, that's the thing.. A lot of men will approach you without trying to figure out if you're open to being talked to or not. And not being open to being flirted with isn't personal... Obviously being a cute girl a lot of guys will approach you, but that doesn't mean you want to flirt with any of them.
And maybe there's going to be one person who interests you because you're sensing a real connection or the person was very clever and subtle.. There's an art to seduction. I have a friend who's not particularly attractive physically, but he gets so much attention from girls, because he knows how to talk to them. He's interesting and charming and funny and he knows not to push boundaries. He clearly works on himself and he is a good person and a curious and talented individual.
In my opinion in order to attract attention from anybody, you have to work on yourself. You have to cultivate interests, work on personal projects, do self care, question yourself, educate yourself, etc. People are attracted to individuals who work on their talents and have hobbies (not this one lol) and interests and have interesting subjects to talk about. I also understand what it's like to be socially awkward, but even if you're a bit weird, there's a way to turn this to your advantage.
Being who you are is the way to go. And I swear, you will find someone who matches your uniqueness.
On apps, which can be difficult, but feasible. Or walking down the street when you see this girl with a shirt from your favorite band. The key is to be able to smile and say "Hey, nice shirt. Their latest album is off the charts!" But like I said, I feel for you, easier said than done.
The key for me was really to not talk to people because you have to, but talk to people because you are happy and curious and are interested in what the other is saying. Listening is mega important. But to get there, most of the time, you have to make the 1st move... and trust me, any first move will do... even if it's clumsy as fuck. The good ones will find it funny and the ice will be broken.
I'm a shy guy too. I get it that it's hard. Fear of rejection is an obstacle, but once you understand that it will not work until it does (which really frustrating), that you have to try and get rejected until someone embraces who you are. You'll have a negative "record" for sure, but it doesn't matter, because one day, you'll be 1-41, and the 1 is all that matters.
Luna said we are not entitled to attention. And this is right. You can't be everyone's type. But you are someone's type.
Shoot your shot, try to be funny, smile a lot, be genuine... worst thing that can happen is "No" (and please, when it's no, it's no!!)
most of these girls don’t even know who the fuck the band is on their shirts anyways hahaha
Never mind rock bands as I love hard bop jazz so forget about engaging in conversations with that! lolHAHHAHAHAHA... Harley Davidson's latest album is indeed off the charts!!!
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Childhood was difficult for me too. I'm 35 and never have a girlfriend. I'm not even trying as I've become too confortable with the "being single" lifestyle, in control of 100% of my life, schedule etc. Loneliness is often hard to bear. I hope not to die too old...or too young.
Oh gosh.
I feel you on the single life. No headaches. You can fart in peace, be in Shrek mode, etc etc.
I really enjoy my solitude. It’s honestly so addicting - but also aware how it can be detrimental to my wellbeing. However, I don’t need to seek love since I have plenty of it to give to my family, friends and pets. Also enjoy hobbies / the little things in life.
So much can become complicated. I question it a lot like my girl Avril Lavigne does.
Society’s pressure on settling down, getting married and having kids used to be felt greatly. I’d scramble to want to settle down and seek this subconsciously.
Then I saw how fucked shit was and I’m like:
You know what I’ve come to learn?
Even if I don’t have matching affinities with people - I love to see the passion they have for something and I WANT to learn on them & to not agree on topics doesn’t mean I don’t love them or wtv. Part of being in a relationship is not necessarily matching one another to a T (opposites attract) but more so to listen / learn about the other. Not necessarily forcing the other party to listen to jazz music (in your case) but to let the other enjoy it / not take it away from them.
It’s impossible to like every single fkn thing from someone - people nowadays give up so easily when something isn’t coinciding with what they like. It sucks. Lots of narrow mindedness and selfishness.
I’m very big on live and let live. I hate suffocating someone or feeling suffocated. But I can still love someone and be territorial as fuck. I don’t know if this makes any sense HAHAH. My passion for someone is reserved.
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I keep hearing about the complaints from my friends about being involved and no kinkiness coming from their partners! A friend of mine renovated his ex partners house and she never initiated sex and in the end she was jealous of him giving attention to his kids! I’m very happy to enjoy kink with SPS thank you! Yes! Also , enjoying your passions and hobbies without being bothered!
This is why I’m your friend’s best friend when he goes to his “dentist appointment”
He tells me she is miserable and stubborn and can’t believe he looks at porn after the relationship! WTF. I find it so healthy to engage in kinky stuff as it’s good for the mind! Being closed minded with a very low libido is actually very unhealthy! Thank God I’m not a vanilla!
Getting over the fear of rejection is extremely important to gain confidence and to develop charming personality
If the end goal to find a relationship, from my experience, even if f there is initial chemistry, it doesnt last long
Eventually there is always something annoying or something I get tired off about that person
And I sure its the same for that person towards me once the honeymoon period wears off.
If the end goal to find a relationship, from my experience, even if f there is initial chemistry, it doesnt last long
Eventually there is always something annoying or something I get tired off about that person
And I sure its the same for that person towards me once the honeymoon period wears off.
This is why it’s good to have a healthy obsession with your lover. I cannot be in a relationship if I know I’ll get annoyed. I need to take my time prior to get to know the person as much as possible - see them / one another in different settings / his or her reaction. Too many people rush into things right off the bat. Nonetheless, dating is indeed time consuming and I feel all of you.
Not sure what you mean by healthy obsession.
I agree Taking time to get to know that person
Eventually spending the whole day and weekends together will get into each other nerves no matter if you are in love
My feeling we need time away to reset our emotions whenever we spend that much time with a lover
Indeed. What I meant with statistics is that you need large numbers. 2 dates out of 20 messages is great but 10 dates out of 200 messages is even better
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