Approaching women

[Valentina Amante | LAVAL]

I don't know about you but when I wear a band tshirt it's because I'm a fan of their music.. and I'm just like other girls.

It’s an ongoing stereotype that I find funny hahah!
For the most part yes, I wear all my band shirts with pride.

Especially my SOAD one:

 

[mrhawk0808]

It’s an ongoing stereotype that I find funny hahah!
For the most part yes, I wear all my band shirts with pride.

Especially my SOAD one:
View attachment 87729

I need this shirt. Now!

 

[mrhawk0808]

My grandmother and grandfather had their own bedrooms. They were head over heels for each other - sometimes our family would tell them to get a room because they just were so passionate at family events HAHAHA

Aiming for this!!

And yes, me time is so important. I need the time to do some things i need/want to do. Alone.

And when I'm with someone, I'm 100% with that person and give the best of me. Present, passionnate, goofball, empathetic... all of it.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

It’s an ongoing stereotype that I find funny hahah!
For the most part yes, I wear all my band shirts with pride.

Especially my SOAD one:
View attachment 87729

I love it hehe

 

[Skym]

Video link here,

 

[bodick7]

I mean. Have you seen your butt?

It’s glorious!

View attachment 87720
(She texted me a pic of you entering the shower ^)

Your leaks have surfaced!

These freaking cams are everywhere. Not polite to film gents having showers. Ha!Ha!

 

[MCTJ]

Many hold themselves in a high regard and think they have zero flaws. When it’s this exact attitude that persists toxic exchanges & experiences for both, men & women in the dating pool. People need to not be afraid of being alone before bouncing from one relationship to another.
You can’t show up for others if you don’t show up for yourself first.

A persistent idea that I have, and which I need to explore further, is that the sexual revolution may have been one of the most destructive cultural shifts of the 20th century.

A few thoughts right of the bat: 1) are women–on average, not talking about SW here–really happy having casual no-strings attached sex (often while loaded on synthetic contraceptives that can sometimes wreck havoc on their bodies and minds)?; 2) a stable nuclear family is the strongest predictor of future relationship success in the child, 3) is the soarng divorce rate of the late 20th/early 21st century more a product of the strict cultural/religious norms of the past
, or rather of the then emerging so-called progressive values? Are we better off, or worse off as a society with a ca. 50% divorce rate? I have on my reading list the classic book "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce", which is expected to be an eye-opener. 4) what percentage of women can actually find a work-life balance and be happy? Wouldn't part-time remote work, while taking care of a child at home be a better option? The right conditions seem to be in place for that. 5) the most destructive influences of modern feminism have been the propagation of negative stereotypes towards traditional masculinity and the devaluation of motherhood.

After a decade of unhinged ultra-"progressive" cultural change, we're seeing pockets of change in the US with the trad-wives subculture, not to mention (marginal) cultures where traditional values have always been and remain the norm (e.g. Amish). I am absolutely under no illusion that there will be a wholesale return to traditional values, but if the growing disillusionment with the dystopian dating apps is a sign, positive changes may be afoot.

 

[Valentina Amante | LAVAL]

A persistent idea that I have, and which I need to explore further, is that the sexual revolution may have been one of the most destructive cultural shifts of the 20th century.

A few thoughts right of the bat: 1) are women–on average, not talking about SW here–really happy having casual no-strings attached sex (often while loaded on synthetic contraceptives that can sometimes wreck havoc on their bodies and minds)?; 2) a stable nuclear family is the strongest predictor of future relationship success in the child, 3) is the soarng divorce rate of the late 20th/early 21st century more a product of the strict cultural/religious norms of the past
, or rather of the then emerging so-called progressive values? Are we better off, or worse off as a society with a ca. 50% divorce rate? I have on my reading list the classic book "The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce", which is expected to be an eye-opener. 4) what percentage of women can actually find a work-life balance and be happy? Wouldn't part-time remote work, while taking care of a child at home be a better option? The right conditions seem to be in place for that. 5) the most destructive influences of modern feminism have been the propagation of negative stereotypes towards traditional masculinity and the devaluation of motherhood.

After a decade of unhinged ultra-"progressive" cultural change, we're seeing pockets of change in the US with the trad-wives subculture, not to mention (marginal) cultures where traditional values have always been and remain the norm (e.g. Amish). I am absolutely under no illusion that there will be a wholesale return to traditional values, but if the growing disillusionment with the dystopian dating apps is a sign, positive changes may be afoot.

Refreshing to read this! ♥♥♥

They bash trad wives so much. I don’t want kids but bro I’d be happy to be a trad wife. WHO WOULDNT wanna stay home and take care of the family unit!!?!! I adore cooking and cleaning!! To know I’d have full control over what I’m teaching my child - priceless. Unlike how these indoctrination camps (schools) teach them nowadays… This sick, new education reform needs to stop. It’s also okay to be a non trad but like damn - then they bash women who wanna be trad lmao. Never ends with them.

 

[MCTJ]

Refreshing to read this! ♥♥♥

They bash trad wives so much. I don’t want kids but bro I’d be happy to be a trad wife. WHO WOULDNT wanna stay home and take care of the family unit!!?!! I adore cooking and cleaning!! To know I’d have full control over what I’m teaching my child - priceless. Unlike how these indoctrination camps (schools) teach them nowadays… This sick, new education reform needs to stop. It’s also okay to be a non trad but like damn - then they bash women who wanna be trad lmao. Never ends with them.

My hunch is that quite a few women nowadays would love to be stay at home moms, but fear the stigma. Isn't that crazy that we've come to this? Raising a child.

Let's acknowledge that the cost of living crisis is not helping at all.

 

[Giselle Montreal]

My hunch is that quite a few women nowadays would love to be stay at home moms, but fear the stigma. Isn't that crazy that we've come to this? Raising a child.

I would love to "stay at home", in the sense that there are so many things I would do rather than work. My husband can do that. I assume every bit of it. But, not raising a child, I don't want to be a mom. Why is a woman always a mom in that scenario? It's my worst nightmare.

 

[Valentina Amante | LAVAL]

My hunch is that quite a few women nowadays would love to be stay at home moms, but fear the stigma. Isn't that crazy that we've come to this? Raising a child.

Let's acknowledge that the cost of living crisis is not helping at all.

I think that yes , some may fear the stigma. This is why all these movements create problems. If people can just relax and do what they wanna do without judging and imposing shit - it’d be great. But some of them got loud and proud lmao.

When I was younger I wanted to prove myself to everyone and do everything myself and “didn’t need a man”. If I were in a relationship now… I’d want and need my man. Not wanting kids - but if I were in a different scenario - I’d homeschool them and stay at home 100%.

The economy. Don’t start. What a nightmare
Funny, also, how people would make fun of farmers and homeschooled kids.
Fast forward to now. I wanna live off grid, I wanna grow my own things, have a farm, get all the animals and farm cats HAHAH.
No kids but hey - I watch my friend’s kids and would happily have them on my little dream farm

 

[MCTJ]

I would love to "stay at home", in the sense that there are so many things I would do rather than work. My husband can do that. I assume every bit of it. But, not raising a child, I don't want to be a mom. Why is a woman always a mom in that scenario? It's my worst nightmare.

That's valid. I also don't see myself raising a child (regardless of whether I would work or not). We should ask ourselves why we've come to this situation in such large numbers.

 

[MCTJ]

When I was younger I wanted to prove myself to everyone and do everything myself and “didn’t need a man”. If I were in a relationship now… I’d want and need my man

My growing knowledge of psychology has informed me that when a woman says "I don't want a boyfriend, I'm independent", this is simply a symptom of an avoidant attachment style. More often than not, deep down inside, she wants a boyfriend. (The same is true for men; they usually don't express it out loud.)

 

[Giselle Montreal]

We should ask ourselves why we've come to this situation in such large numbers.

No, I don't want to. I'm good with the autonomy women now have over their needs and wants.

 

[Valentina Amante | LAVAL]

My growing knowledge of psychology has informed me that when a woman says "I don't want a boyfriend, I'm independent", this is simply a symptom of an avoidant attachment style. More often than not, deep down inside, she wants a boyfriend. (The same is true for men; they usually don't express it out loud.)

Yes. I feel like everyone needs to do the work on themselves before investing in a relationship. Some also wanna feel part of a group to feel empowered and that’s fine but, toxic behaviours can trickle down to future relationships. Then a vicious cycle starts for both parties, be it on the receiving or giving end. It’s sad. People invest in eachother but bring their booboos from their past. Heal yourself. Spend alone time. Show up for yourself before you do for others.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

My growing knowledge of psychology has informed me that when a woman says "I don't want a boyfriend, I'm independent", this is simply a symptom of an avoidant attachment style. More often than not, deep down inside, she wants a boyfriend. (The same is true for men; they usually don't express it out loud.)

I think a lot of people sincerely don't want a partner or a child. (I certainly don't want kids and this hasn't changed since I was a teenager) But I do think there's going to be a moment in most people's lives when they want a stable relationship because it's harder and harder to have a social life as you age and it's important to have solid connections in your life and an anchor... Having a life companion is important, at least to me. I'd love to have a wife or husband, not necessarily stay at home, but since my talents are creative I wish I had a partner who had a more steady career so I could focus on my projects. It's unfair to expect that of someone, tho.

Another fair point to add is that a lot of people who don't want a relationship have been hurt many times and don't want to experience it again, I have friends like this, but they focus on their friendships a LOT. Friends can be your family.

 

[MCTJ]

we still live in a society that values the nuclear family and the vast majority of people settle down by a certain age, whether or not they have kids

Society values it because it brings tremendous benefits to its members, and to society at large. The breakdown in nuclear family is in large part responsible for the relationship failures, relationship problems, traumas etc. that are so prevalent around us today. There are decades of research that support this (including the book I cited above). That does not mean that some people (maybe like you) cannot be happy in an alternate mode of living. But overall, we would be much happier‐as in years past-if this mode still held today.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

I think blaming societal changes on women's rights is really unfair.. We still have a long way to go. Nobody talks about this but cases of domestic violence sky rocketed during the pandemic, and people being so isolated during these years forgot how to socialize. Hook up culture and disposability culture aren't due to women having more rights, they're caused by capitalism in my opinion. A lot of people want short term friendships and relationships and hook ups because the current social climate doesn't allow people to develop deeper connections. I blame social media etc. An avoidant attachment style is often due to trauma, but people behaving in an avoidant way, both men and women, is becoming more and more common..

 

[MCTJ]

I think blaming societal changes on women's rights is really unfair.. We still have a long way to go. Nobody talks about this but cases of domestic violence sky rocketed during the pandemic, and people being so isolated during these years forgot how to socialize. Hook up culture and disposability culture aren't due to women having more rights, they're caused by capitalism in my opinion. A lot of people want short term friendships and relationships and hook ups because the current social climate doesn't allow people to develop deeper connections. I blame social media etc. An avoidant attachment style is often due to trauma, but people behaving in an avoidant way, both men and women, is becoming more and more common..

It's not so much women's rights as the increase in divorce, and its devastating effects on children during adult life. This is what we're seeing all around us today, to a large extent. If a women is being abused, cheated on, then sure, divorce becomes almost inevitable. But seeing married or unmarried couples, who suddenly "don't go along together" separating often with insufficient efforts to patch things up, ends up setting up their children for a lifetime of relationship problems, or worse. Also maybe thinking more before having children would be a good idea.

I agree with all the technological factors you mention. They came up later, as an add-on to the problem I describe above that started to appear in the 80's-90's.

 

[Hemme]

I want a partner that will tell me it’s okay to get more cats.

I once live in a 3 1/2 with 7 cats