Don't fall in love with your regular SP

[vanhamm]

Its not love , its attraction, sexual attraction, and infatuation most of the time. Yeah I guess I am the lone wolf of the pack and don't get attached to anyone but this is what you get when you been screwed so many times with relationship and the myth called love.

I am 52 now and been single for 11 years, I last went on a date over 8 years ago, she was obese and not very pretty and she insulted me. So I decided that my dating days were over.

Now yes I can relate because at 28 I sort of fell for a high end escort who looked like Gabrielle Destroismaison she was so hot, she approached me at Sherlock on St Catherine street that was in 1999. I knew straight off the bat that something was wrong when she told me she was a juridical secretary, she confined in me the week after that she worked for fantasme xxx and she did escort twice per week, then share stories about a few of her clients, yeah younger I worked in a theater and I knew one of the bosses there. I knew this would be trouble when I got into her new apartment in Hotel de Ville downtown Montreal and she greeted me with a glass of white wine and 2 eustasy pills, I refused and she got mad. We were on and off for about 6 months and yes I went into depression, lost weight, went nuts until she told me that she had her fun with me and it was over now.

The thing is escort is a fantasy world, when I see my SP I do things with her that I never did with my ex girlfriends, I respect her, treat her like a girlfriend, we kiss, we cuddle, I made sure that she cums a few times too and as fun even if I pay her we both enjoy our time together.

But for me this falling in love dating, I just a myth a feeling like eating, and any other feelings we feel. I am so disconnected that 3 weeks ago I went to get a tooth repaired at the dentist and the dental hygienist ask me out for drinks, she was 47 but really a beautiful women, but I did not want to get involve with someone after enjoy my freedom so much.

So for me its easy, I am going to get excited, horny but after that its over by see you next time. I just don't fall in love anymore no matter what the SP looks like and I am a far cry of looking like I did in 2000.

 

[AirBo]

I find a way to compartmentalize all of this.

Indeed!

Simply think about something that provides you good time.

Ass!

think about the entertainment side of thing as much as possible.

I do! I need ass!

 

[MCTJ]

Indeed!



Ass!



I do! I need ass!

Good for @Glyscore If that works for him. None of this applies to my current situation!

 

[vanhamm]

It happened to me too, and I suffered a lot and am still suffering.

Here's why it happened, for those who shake their head at the thought of why would someone "fall in love with an escort".

I was a vicitm of bullying throughout elementary school, which severely affected my self-esteem. Once I finally overcome this problem, I was an adult and never had sex, or even had a girlfriend, or even held hands with a girl. You get the picture. I am not ugly. I decided to see an escort for the first time and never stopped since then. The first and only time I felt attached to someone (other than my parents...) was with an escort. It's very difficult.

Ok please come on, I been bullied when I was a kid and a teenager, what did I do, I knew I had to get bigger and stronger. My grand father god bless is soul got me my first training set Weider at 13y old, at at 16 he got me my first membership to a gym. I train my ass off, to gain mass, and I learn to fight, kyokushin karate (were i got beat up a lot cause I was skinny and weak) then switch to tae kwon do. At 21 I was 205 pounds and got to meet a few of my bullies. They did not like our little encounter.

Bad experiences, please dated from 18 to 41 got cheated on dumped made the mistake of going out with a chubby chick in 2003 bough a house then lost money selling it, at 41 again separated lots another house.

You need to get stronger mentally, read some red pill material, go on youtube etc, I was weak like you and now I learn so much. Yes its normal what you are going through to get attached etc but you can get through this.... remember that time fixes everything.

When I was 25 my father friend who was close to 60 came to visit, he was shaking like a leaf, he was dating a 25y old women, she was a single mom, paid a car for her and her studies, he followed her and saw she was cheating on him.... he was stressed he did not know what to do.... in other word don't be that guy.

 

[AirBo]

Good for @Glyscore If that works for him. None of this applies to my current situation!

How about this: sit down with your chosen one and talk about this situation. Tell her exactly how you feel. If she cares for you, she'll give you a much needed reality check and, hopefully, she'll find the right words.

 

[Bluesky1]

It happened to me too, and I suffered a lot and am still suffering.

Here's why it happened, for those who shake their head at the thought of why would someone "fall in love with an escort".

I was a vicitm of bullying throughout elementary school, which severely affected my self-esteem. Once I finally overcome this problem, I was an adult and never had sex, or even had a girlfriend, or even held hands with a girl. You get the picture. I am not ugly. I decided to see an escort for the first time and never stopped since then. The first and only time I felt attached to someone (other than my parents...) was with an escort. It's very difficult.

How about this: sit down with your chosen one and talk about this situation. Tell her exactly how you feel. If she cares for you, she'll give you a much needed reality check and, hopefully, she'll find the right words.

I might go see her tomorrow night .
With the Grand prix weekend coming next week it will drive me insane if I don't go.

 

[Bluesky1]

How about you bring a bottle of wine, sit down, enjoy your drink, and have an honest chat?

I wish but I think Iam dealing with mental ilness from her part .
Or a very low grade manipulator.

 

[envelopes]

Seen many SPs and I think I've "compartmentalized" pretty well, by keeping in mind that it was just pay 4 play. Pay 4 play is what kept my mind clear.

The only 2 times it happened was when the SP broke the SP/client barrier. Started talking outside of the agency, coming over to my condo after, we go out, sex, etc, no $ involved. It got too "real". I think they still saw it as "just for fun", but once you break the boundaries like that, it's hard to compartmentalize anymore.

If I keep paying, I am pretty sure I wouldn't have developed feelings, because it would have remained a business transaction and it would make it clear to me she's here for the money.

So maybe if you push that, it'll make it clear for you and maybe it'll help resolve it?

 

[vanhamm]

Seen many SPs and I think I've "compartmentalized" pretty well, by keeping in mind that it was just pay 4 play. Pay 4 play is what kept my mind clear.

The only 2 times it happened was when the SP broke the SP/client barrier. Started talking outside of the agency, coming over to my condo after, we go out, sex, etc, no $ involved. It got too "real". I think they still saw it as "just for fun", but once you break the boundaries like that, it's hard to compartmentalize anymore.

If I keep paying, I am pretty sure I wouldn't have developed feelings, because it would have remained a business transaction and it would make it clear to me she's here for the money.

So maybe if you push that, it'll make it clear for you and maybe it'll help resolve it?

Exactly my regular SP is all about money, she tries sometimes text me I am horny come see me but when ever I talk about not having money she says ok another time then.

SP always play a game with there clients, mine she as become a master in the last 12 years she been doing this. And she gets real mad when clients want to have sex with her for free.

But in my case I don't care because I don't date anymore and I would certainly not get into a relationship with a women that had how many men before me. In my mind it makes no sense at all. For me SP are for entertainment only. In the end they at there to make money not to find a good man to marry or find a boyfriend.

 

[MCTJ]

Ok please come on, I been bullied when I was a kid and a teenager, what did I do, I knew I had to get bigger and stronger. My grand father god bless is soul got me my first training set Weider at 13y old, at at 16 he got me my first membership to a gym. I train my ass off, to gain mass, and I learn to fight, kyokushin karate (were i got beat up a lot cause I was skinny and weak) then switch to tae kwon do. At 21 I was 205 pounds and got to meet a few of my bullies. They did not like our little encounter.

Bad experiences, please dated from 18 to 41 got cheated on dumped made the mistake of going out with a chubby chick in 2003 bough a house then lost money selling it, at 41 again separated lots another house.

You need to get stronger mentally, read some red pill material, go on youtube etc, I was weak like you and now I learn so much. Yes its normal what you are going through to get attached etc but you can get through this.... remember that time fixes everything.

When I was 25 my father friend who was close to 60 came to visit, he was shaking like a leaf, he was dating a 25y old women, she was a single mom, paid a car for her and her studies, he followed her and saw she was cheating on him.... he was stressed he did not know what to do.... in other word don't be that guy.

I did start lifting weights a couple years ago and it has helped me feel better, but it hasn't solved my relationship issues, lol. I'm far from huge (started skinny) but I'm in decent shape. My shoulders have broadened and I do look more masculine than before.

I know my story screams "beta male", and I am most likely one, but there are alphas and there are betas. One of the biggest myths out there is that women are only attracted to alpha males.

 

[vanhamm]

I did start lifting weights a couple years ago and it has helped me feel better, but it hasn't solved my relationship issues, lol. I'm far from huge (started skinny) but I'm in decent shape. My shoulders have broadened and I do look more masculine than before.

I know my story screams "beta male", and I am most likely one, but there are alphas and there are betas. One of the biggest myths out there is that women are only attracted to alpha males.

There is no alpha no beta and I read tones of books about this subject when my last girlfriend cheated on me at 41, yes the books made me feel better, I love the feeling powerful as a man, and not weak. But those are only stupid names people give to each other, an alpha male can be a douche bag that bullies people around and sleep with countless women, or he can be like me who was a wimp and low self esteem and worked on myself to get my life together, not only building my physique but also going for a career because I was tired in my early 20 to get dead end jobs, always getting layed off etc.

Now the red pill is a better approach at understanding how women think and view men (not a hate against women this is not incel talk) but to understand that women go for resources and men attraction. This is why when you see an SP and she is drop dead gorgeous you mistake falling in love with infatuation.

I am 52 and some people still try to put me down, only now I don't care and I reply back its funny people are not use to this at all.

But the plot thickens even more in today society, because even men who look real good get dumped, the world as gone crazy. So for this relationship thing of yours I can't help you because I have not even solved mine, reason why I don't date anymore nor chase women...

The sad truth is I understood its a lost cause, that at 52 I need to get super fit again, have no grey hair, a full head of hair, and look like a male model to even stand a chance with an below average single over weight mom with a dead end job.

Sorry but this man butted out. The red pill is hard to swallow, but its a choice you either continue to live in a dream world and think someday while you are sitting at home a hot chick is gonna ring the ball and you will fall magically in love or you see the truth (that i agree is hard to accept at first) and work on yourself enjoy your life, develop passion.

On a side note I can still love, I love my pets I have 3 cats now and lost 2 the past year I still feel pain when I think about them because my pets are like family to me... but that is the only unconditional love I will give to a living thing.

For women yes I been ask for drinks etc like 3 weeks ago by a dental hygienist who look real good but I don't see myself going on dates getting into some family again etc and being miserable... being single is total freedom.

 

[MCTJ]

Short answer: like you, I gave up.

I read evolutionary psychology (Steven Pinker and David Buss) I highly recommend The Evolution of Desire by the latter. Women are attracted to men who display nurturing behavior (what we would pseudoscientifically call beta male) because it predicts the man will show nurturing behavior towards her child, which favors their survival.

I do have a fulfilling job so that's where I channel my energies.

 

[vanhamm]

Short answer: like you, I gave up.

I read evolutionary psychology (Steven Pinker and David Buss) I highly recommend The Evolution of Desire by the latter. Women are attracted to men who display nurturing behavior (what we would pseudoscientifically call beta male) because it predicts the man will show nurturing behavior towards her child, which favors their survival.

I do have a fulfilling job so that's where I channel my energies.

The world has change and don't mean to discourage anyone but man after my ex cheated on me I though at 41 lost a lot of weight (depression and wanting to look good again) I said finding a good women won't be hard.

I was introduce to a 46y old women never married no kids, she was the one who added me on facebook, yet each time we tried to meet she had things to do with her friends. I confronted her saying if you are not interested she said yeah I am mixed up right now... this is a 46y old women with a great job, not an 18y old young women.

Then I made the mistake of going on a date with a Romanian women who made it very clear that she needed to get married to stay In Canada cause her visa was expiring in 6 months, she never called me back and when she saw me said I did not look like my picture good cause she was not a prize to be won either.

I went on a date with a 50y old women at 42 who literally brought her cv with her showing me she owned a house and a daycare and how much money she was making and that she was in demand men wanted her, at the end of the night I rejected her alpha women she kept calling herself yet panic when I told her she look like a 50y old teenager...

On facebook I found a women I use to go to high school with we had tones of fun, she was single mother of 3 kids and told me she never lived her life, I ask her out said we could go to Mont Tremblant see the colors she was like yes really cool, she never contacted me again, I told her if you were not interested why did you not say so. She once again said sorry I am mixed up.

Those are a few and many more online dating. My point is that women now no matter there looks, situation she can have 5 kids live in a illusion, they watch those reality tv shows and they see all those male models with six pack and they start dreaming, no matter how she looks she wants a man that looks like that. I know I spoke with a 45y old nurse 2 kids full time who looked like a penguin telling me her standards were set very high even if she was single.. I was closing my online dating accounts because I saw too much numb nuts and I told her what standards do you have you look like garbage. Sorry but wow.

So those psychology books are grossly outdated.

Women do come around when they realize that the top tier men won't even look at them, but most of them rather remain single than lower there standards.

Its fine with me because I am not attracted to older women, and when you do reject an older women like the 62y old at my job who trains gets a tan and dress sexy for her age in clothes that does not fit her at all and as a bulldog face, you reject them and they take it very personal. I got in trouble because of her at work cause I rejetected her.

The young men at my job don't even chase women anymore its pointless, they rather stay home enjoy a good movie video game then try to pick up a women who could be a feminist, bipolar, bisexual or else. It was so easy back then going to a club picking up women but today look at a women the wrong way you can get in serious trouble.

When a women goes for a beta (weak men) of course he will provide and all, but believe me if some day she finds the real man that she dreams about the beta is gonna take a backseat. Divorce rate is so high and most women are the ones who request it.

 

[Rebaynia]

That was a lot of bad dates. I get why you'd feel that way. Personally I can't say much. I am rarely single for long unless i am activly avoiding relationship. Last time i was single, almost 2 years ago, it was for 2 days.
In the last 7 years was single for maybe a total of 6 months.
Ex-a, was with for 1 year we broke up, he complained it was too hard to get me to trust in love, thus him (was hurt i the past and admittedly didn't trust any relationship i could be emotionally involved in). Was single for maybe 3 months, ex-b showed up, was an abusive relationship, it ended. (it lasted 7 months, and for 2 months tried to get him to move out) ex-a reappeared. And stuck around for 3 years. Then when things ended, i was single for all of 2 days before master came in and swept me off my feet, and it's been almost 2 years now.

Before that dating record i ended things with an ex-fiancee (things ended poorly, and i was afraid after to trust any man for a relationship at that point.), and was single for 4 years, then in a loveless relationship for 4, and single for just under a year before ex-a was persistant in getting me to be interested in dating. The first breakup was in part because i didn't trust that falling in love with someone was a good idea, and every time things took a step forward, i would panic and self distruct, trying to break it off before i could get more emotionally involved.

Confusion is also a way of a girl saying, i don't know if i can trust you that i wont get hurt if i enter this relationship. Especially when your talking about ladies who have lived lives... often by this time they are still single because they have been threw some shit, often because they have had red pill types before red pill became a way to refer to it.

 

[vanhamm]

That was a lot of bad dates. I get why you'd feel that way. Personally I can't say much. I am rarely single for long unless i am activly avoiding relationship. Last time i was single, almost 2 years ago, it was for 2 days.
In the last 7 years was single for maybe a total of 6 months.
Ex-a, was with for 1 year we broke up, he complained it was too hard to get me to trust in love, thus him (was hurt i the past and admittedly didn't trust any relationship i could be emotionally involved in). Was single for maybe 3 months, ex-b showed up, was an abusive relationship, it ended. (it lasted 7 months, and for 2 months tried to get him to move out) ex-a reappeared. And stuck around for 3 years. Then when things ended, i was single for all of 2 days before master came in and swept me off my feet, and it's been almost 2 years now.

Before that dating record i ended things with an ex-fiancee (things ended poorly, and i was afraid after to trust any man for a relationship at that point.), and was single for 4 years, then in a loveless relationship for 4, and single for just under a year before ex-a was persistant in getting me to be interested in dating. The first breakup was in part because i didn't trust that falling in love with someone was a good idea, and every time things took a step forward, i would panic and self distruct, trying to break it off before i could get more emotionally involved.

Confusion is also a way of a girl saying, i don't know if i can trust you that i wont get hurt if i enter this relationship. Especially when your talking about ladies who have lived lives... often by this time they are still single because they have been threw some shit, often because they have had red pill types before red pill became a way to refer to it.

Rebaynia thanks for sharing, and I am not gonna go all out saying men are always the ones suffering quoting my regular SP all her regular clients are men that are married. So some men are trash too.​

The red pill only made me understand how things work the red flats and more, I was 9 years with a women that clearly did not care for me at all, I waited with her at the hospital 14 hours when she had an anxiety panic attack and could not breath, I also lost a half days work to go with her, but when my father died of colon cancer I had this colon pain (colon cancer runs in the family) she told me well no need for me to waste my day going to the hospital with you I will stay here and do laundry and other things.​

At my other job I was push into a burnout because of harassments from a supervisor, In fact I did not know what I had after the doctor diagnose me I call my ex and the first question she ask was how I was going to pay the bills, she was a piece of shit. She was the worse sex I ever had.

But the red pill though me that this was social programing staying in a relationship that is toxic and what the red flag was warning you that the person you are with is trash. I just went insane after reading this because it was only the truth.

I was always a romantic love to cuddle and my ex called me the women in the couple because she was a block of ice cold. I went through all the phase of the red pill denial frustration disbelieve, but with all the bad dates I got, I could not deny the truth. Like I said before my last date she looked like a cave women big black furry forearms didn't even bother to hide it, 2 kids full time in between jobs, she told me life as been hard on me and I look older than my age and she wanted a good looking guy which for her I was not. Yet she look like garbage.

That did it for me got home powered on my PS3 that was in 2016 or 2017 I think played medal of honor 2010 order pizza and watch a great movie with my 3 cats.

Then I revised all my past relationship from 18 to 41, my first girlfriend who was bipolar and faked a suicide attempt cause I broke up with her, yet the doctor went ballistic on her when he found out her stomach was clean after she said she swallowed 200 pills, to ,my second girlfriend at 19 who wanted to get pregnant when I was still in school, to the ones that cheated on me, to the chubby fat girl I went out with in 2000 that played the pity card, and took a picture of me in boxer to show the girls at her school that all told her how come a girl like you can get a fit guy like that.......

Life showed me a sign with all those bad dates and the red pill only confirm all of this. I am very sorry but its all I see being single for 11 years now and those are the best years of my life, If I go see an SP its not cheating because no one is waiting for me at home.

Yes in those 11 years women have ask me out like I said the last one being the dental hygienist she was a beautiful women at 47 but I am so disconnected that I just explain to her I don't date anymore.

I have plans to retire I invest money, I want to move to Levis near Quebec and be near Charlesvoix la malbaie I visited those place with my ex and i fell in love people are so nice too over there. Now I live in Laval and if I meet a women when the time comes to leave, she is gonna say well all my family and friends are here I don't want to leave. The dental hygienist has 2 adult kids and she told me she could not wait to be a grand mother... this means when I retire I will have to babysit sorry no.

In my case I gave enough, the women I was with I took care of them, and I never cheated but now Its me.....I think about myself first.

Life is too short anyways to be miserable in a relationship.

 

[Fradi]

I think I have mentioned this before but I am totally in love with my ATF.
I love how gorgeous she is, how kind and thoughtful she is, how she treats me and I love the friendships we have.

Do I want a relationship, with her, yes the one I have, one of being good friends as well as seeing her as a client.
Now if I was half my age things would be very different I could easily really fall in love with her in the traditional way.

As it is she deserves someone her own age, someone who will share a life with her and give her the life and love she deserves, just like I had with my wife.
There are different ways to love a person.

i am not interested in dating at this stage of my life, I am perfectly happy seeing my children and grandchildren, playing golf with my friends and taking my family on vacations. and seeing my ATF and other ladies if the mood hits me.
Dating women in my own age bracket is not difficult, I am just not attracted to them, they carry a shit load of baggage with them. I don’t want to deal with their families and I certainly don’t want to be their financial benefactor and most have already screwed up their life once or twice why would I give them the opportunity to screw up mine.

 

[GaryH]

I'm sure many of you have read Chester Brown's book -'Paying For It". He made a lot of good points about joining the "hobby" and how much happier he was not being in a fully committed relationship. But by the end of the book - SPOILER ALERT - he admits that he is in love with his ATF Denise! Surprised but made me feel that most people need to be in love, even if it's just a fantasy.

 

[MostHatedForNoReason9]

I made a mistake of posting my regular SP name (not her real name), and explain what she told me when we are together, showering me with compliments, telling me that for my age i am hot, each time i see her that i gained muscle and lost fat.

So i get a PM from this guy who is a regular of her too and he starts telling me what she told him, and ask me if its true or not. Sadly I had to tell him the truth and wake him up a bit.

Everything that she tells me is pure bull, I am not hot for my age, I am fat, I am massive still because I lift weights but I am fat too and I guess that aging took a toll on me.

Sadly this guy was living an illusion and he was so deceive that everything she told him was the same she told me.

I don't know if its just me or I am not normal but from the first SP i ordered back in 2013 til today I know that what they tell me is to get the hook in me and keep me coming back. My SP as a great body she is hot for her age, but I know damn well she is playing the game and since she been doing that as a side line for 13 years now she knows exactly what to say to keep her regulars coming back.

For my part I have been single for so long but one thing I know If i would ever date a women again its not going to be an SP.

On a side note I deleted all the post that I mention her SP name and I had to block the guy that message me It was becoming really pathetic.

Sadly pathetic males like the one you’re talking about are as old as the prostitution profession itself & will continue to exist until the end of time. The matrix is impossible to get out of for certain individuals. Tragic!

 

[MostHatedForNoReason9]

It happened to me too, and I suffered a lot and am still suffering.

Here's why it happened, for those who shake their head at the thought of why would someone "fall in love with an escort".

I was a vicitm of bullying throughout elementary school, which severely affected my self-esteem. Once I finally overcome this problem, I was an adult and never had sex, or even had a girlfriend, or even held hands with a girl. You get the picture. I am not ugly. I decided to see an escort for the first time and never stopped since then. The first and only time I felt attached to someone (other than my parents...) was with an escort. It's very difficult.

Have you ever had counselling about this? Tricking is not going to help you make friends or boost your self esteem with civilian women if prostitutes are the only social circle that you decide to keep around young fella.

 

[MostHatedForNoReason9]

The endless vicious circle of making more money to hobby more and still be broke. I feel for those who are truly addicted.



They move on to the next ATM.

Whenever you need a hard reminder of how most SPs really feel for you, take the money out of the equation.

To do this job, most girls must learn to hide or repress their feelings so in the end they feel practically nothing. They don't feel love, they don't feel hate. And if they feel anything, it's mostly contempt.

Lots of hobbyists are easy preys. Just flatter them.

The ones like me who are just looking to cum are not part of the preys thanks to the Universe. We basically were horny & bitchless at the moment we booked a prostitute.

It’s the one in the incall/outcall review pages that be writing Cyrano de Bergerac poetry about the escorts they meet that are more likely to fall in love with them. Seriously speaking sometimes I be reading some of them reviews and all I see is 10 damn lines of bullshit about how the girl smiled at them, how her feet tasted when they licked them, the lingerie colour she was wearing, what is her favourite music band bla bla bla with 0 infos on her services, her looks (she looked like an Angel, man wtf is this supposed to mean to us dawg? C’mon now), limits or extras whatsoever. A Waste of everybody's time tbh. They be the ones falling in love with a girl that will have sex with another guy 30min after they leave. Like a said on another thread I had to hit the “ignore” button on a great amount of profiles on here ever since I joined this community.