Time to reboot my brain

[2fast2slow]

i went from cuming to fast to cuming to slow to not coming at all.

of my last 7 or 8 encounters (all with beautiful amazing ladies), I think i finished only once.

Porn is the reason. I can still get hard and finish with porn, but i cant with a real person. It is mind boggling that i can be having what should be amazing sex with with a truly beautiful young woman, and I feel nothing. It's like I have no nerves in my dick. Then hours later, i become totally aroused on porn and cum within 5-10 minutes...

this video explains it perfectly.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z4yx4ouxGbQ

i've been through this before about 6-7 years ago. I quit porn for about 2 months (that's all it took) and went from not feeling anything to having the most amazing sex of my life. I regained my (rock-hard) erections, and had to take many pauses just to delay ejaculation...just like when i was 20!

I eventually returned to porn, and the problem slowly but surely came back. I have been able to mask the problem by seeing new girls all the time, novelty still gets me aroused. But as soon as I start repeating with the same girl, I can't gert hard.

Anyways, yesterday I started abstaining from porn. Let's hope I can get my bonners back soon! I'll log my progress in this thread, unless i decide to erase it I will continue seeing sps about once a week.

 

[jalimon]

I have experienced the exact same as you my friend! (if you dont mind calling you a friend )

I started seeing SP at 42. At that time I had no clue agency or stellar indy existed. I only saw indies from bad add sites... these girls ranged from downright terrible to just barely average... But hey I was explosing all the time anyhow. Worst is some of these girl did not attracted me at all! Last week while having dinner with friend MrP we shared our story because he started out just like me.. We were both puzzled at how come we were able to explode with these girls that were just fucking bad haha Especially that since we have only seen the best of the best. We came to the conclusion that it was because our dick took over our brain to get us to these girls... So our dick helped us by exploding early to get the fuck out of there as fast as possible!

But one day I stumbled on an indy called Amelia (now Amelia at Euphoria). Ho my fucking god could not believe I could have great sex with such beautiful girl. And because of her I discovered agencies (she had moved to Vog but still seeing me). Wow my world changed but same problem as you experienced happened. Many time I did not came.

Good point you mentioned 2fast because I also cheated a bit by only seeing new girl, no repeat. But at some point that did not worked either.

Then I started to do group stuff which worked magically until it did not. Up to a point last few group session could barely get hard...

Porn does play a major role. But not entirely. When I used to be extremely busy with work and family schedule I had no problem. Now I have way too much free time so I am back at having problem... I think it's because I have too much time to think about the session...

Things I have learned:
1- plan your porn moment... Make them important, not too long and just once or twice a week max.
2- no alcool at all before a session. Not even one beer.
3- seeing girl that rarely work seems to work for me!
4- change your sex routine... go for quickies! Finishing round one with your jeans still on is cool
5- the girl's attitude is for me, very very important. A girl that want to make me come as fast as possible is the worst! Mechanical girl the same. A girl that really want to fuck is a sure thing for explosion.
6- space out session! (I do not know how visitor can do seeing 2 girls per day 2-3 days in a row...)
7- accept that sometime things need to go nasty This is where some experience is needed to make sure the nastiness is done with both side pleasure.
8- with all that said, accept that sometimes you will not come

Cheers,

 

[acoly]

Part of the reasons why I started seeing SPs is because I had a similar problem. Porn and masturbation sorta "numbed" me, and I went years prior to that with having sex with no condom, so had to get used to the condom again. Then theres the occasional performance anxiety. Put all that together, and its trouble lol. EDIT: Also have troubles finish in V, and would need blowjob to finish 95% of the time.

Basically since starting to see SPs/MPs (since Sept), I have only peaked at porn on very rare occasions (stick to amateur!), and only masturnated a few times. Probably can count with one hand. All while seeing SPs once or twice a week. I have had maybe 4 occasions that were fails though. Less sensitivity while adjusting to the condom made my rounds too long. Sometimes too long and exhaust myself trying to, then losing the erection from too much exhertion. I have had improvements though but I still have too much endurance though (too much endurance or too little feeling? lol)

 

[hungry101]

Just a thought...why not combine your two favorite things? Pipe in porn on the TV as you are seeing your favorite escort. Problem solved.

I'm not giving up porn and masturbating for anything. Don't knock my hobbies.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

Exceptionally, I'm going to go on in english since this tread, so far, is in english but, bear in mind that, french is my first language. I never really interact on the board, especially in the reviews because I think there is a lot of bragging and self foolishness in reviews, and also I am not a big hobbyist, I started some 14 years ago with a few indy mp, I was lucky or, wise enough ;0 to read the reviews between the lines to figure out what was available or not and ,I could point out, quite quickly who was a reliable hobbyist, or not, on this board. So thanks to all the honests and frank poster here. Now this topic here do ring a bell for me so I am willing to share a few thoughts here.

As I stated, I am not a big hobbyist (I have a few girls that I've met in the massage field that I can date and have real good sex with money exchange, please no need to ask who, you wont get an any answers), mostly because I am mostly driven by strong connections, sexually or otherwise and it's very hard to find in the sp field. That being said, I always been dealing with a very high libido and never been able to really control it . I've had, in my twentys, thirtys and even fortys been able to "entertain" 2-3 lovers or girlfriends, full time. Even when going in stripjoint I woul'd get free take out every now and then( in my youth I was quite handsome and being tall, 6'2", really helps there). Then came the internet and all that porn, so I took the plunge there too and let myself drown into it.

After a few years I realized that even if I still had all those sexual thoughts rushing in my brain, it wasn't so exciting anymore, and worst of all, when I was in real company, I could still do a lot of nasty things but, couldn't come, and even not staying hard some times. So I started to fight it with more porn and blue or yellow pills, but still, no more satisfying orgasms if there was any! Then I started to think and try to figure out what was going on.Aging was my first concern, I'm 58 and a smoker, so that coul'd be a major factor. But after a conversation with my doctor, and the fact that I still get very strong erections in my sleep or while wakening, the problem didn't seem to be coming from the health department. So, to me, there was only one way left, the psychological one!

My conclusion is that, for me, the over consumption of porn combined with the use of sp without "real
' connections and the print that it left in the subconscious has led to unattainable expectations. Ouff that's a very long post and I'm not even sure if I made myself clear here! sorry guys lol

 

[2fast2slow]

hey Jalimon, (of course you can call me a friend!)

i started this hobby when I was 20, now i'm gonna be 50 soon. When I was 10, my older brother brought me into my fathers office, and neatly tuck in between a pile of academic books were a Playboy and a Penthouse. I have not stopped consuming porn since....that's 40 years of porn and 30 years of sps...and my thirst will never be quenched.

When I started this hobby, i had decent control with my girlfriend, but when a sp provider touched my dick I exploded instantly. It was like all the nerve endings of my entire body were concentrated in my dick. I miss that feeling. Already then i got a taste of 'novelty'. The excitement of seeing an sp, a stranger, somebody new, wow, a powerful drug. I would never consider seeing those providers today...lol

What you describe is classic desensitization. Finding novel sexual situations or increasingly 'edgy' sex to stimulate you. i agree it works for a while, but you are just buying some time. I have compensated by going to better and better looking girls, full gfe is a must, changing frequently, etc. I had my first duo a couple of summers ago, that worked

But i am really at a dead end now. I feel nothing. I still deeply crave sex and female companionship, enjoy the companionship, but i feel nothing during sex, cant get or stay hard, it is getting depressing.

day 3 of the reboot. It was easy not to masturbate or watch porn the first 2 nights...what motivates me is i can still see providers. Looking forward to my next encounter sometime next week....

 

[2fast2slow]

Just a thought...why not combine your two favorite things? Pipe in porn on the TV as you are seeing your favorite escort. Problem solved.

I'm not giving up porn and masturbating for anything. Don't knock my hobbies.

i am not giving up porn forever, just until i get my brain reset. after i will return to it, but i will moderate it (yeah, that's what i said last time...)

I hate watching porn with someone else. I have tried it several time, and i really dont like it. Porn for me is a deeply personal thing...

 

[2fast2slow]

hey Jupiter, il y a beaucoup de posts ici en français, on est au québec ici esti! Je pense que la plupart des membres comprennent le français

I admit that part of the problem is the highs i have hit with some providers. they set the bar. when the provider is beautiful and you actually feel a connection, that is a powerful combination. I have to admit that I am head over heels in love with one of my regulars, I think about her all the time. I managed to finish with her the first 6 or 7 times I saw her. but the last few times i couldnt. I think the fact that I love her is interfering with my performance also... (by the way, i dont expect her to love me back, i am not naïve, but i want to see her as often as i can until she quits the business). But the lack of feeling with this beautiful person that i have developped genuine feelings for gave me the impetus to fix myself (amazing what love does).

My main issue with my dysfunctionnal dick is porn. I have been overconsuming it since high speed internet availability. Basically every day for 10 years. Not for hours at a time, usually 10-15 minutes is enough, but every day.

 

[ShyMan]

But i am really at a dead end now. I still deeply crave sex and female companionship . . . it is getting depressing.

I take my hat off to you for sharing.

I've found that exercising and working out a day before an encounter with a SP or a "regular" lady help prime the pump -- it may have to do with boosting my testosterone and other hormones in my body from working out mostly with weights and some aerobic work out (using a rowing machine and running). And refraining from watching porn helps a lot too.

And sometimes being away from some thing recharges the body and mind too. Too much of a good thing could be bad for us: I've been sticking to moderation for everything that's pleasurable in life.

I wish you luck with your daily battle to rewire your brain and body. This phase will pass and you will be a new man soon enough. Take baby steps but stick to your goals.

 

[2fast2slow]

day 4, so far so good. really not craving the porn... just quit cold turkey. no masturbation either. feel motivated, let's see if this last.

 

[ssj3]

day 4, so far so good. really not craving the porn... just quit cold turkey. no masturbation either. feel motivated, let's see if this last.

Good luck dude..last year I did no the fap hard mode challenge for 60 days. It was pretty hard at first but got easier over time.

 

[jalimon]

hey Jalimon, (of course you can call me a friend!)

i started this hobby when I was 20, now i'm gonna be 50 soon. When I was 10, my older brother brought me into my fathers office, and neatly tuck in between a pile of academic books were a Playboy and a Penthouse. I have not stopped consuming porn since....that's 40 years of porn and 30 years of sps...and my thirst will never be quenched.

When I started this hobby, i had decent control with my girlfriend, but when a sp provider touched my dick I exploded instantly. It was like all the nerve endings of my entire body were concentrated in my dick. I miss that feeling. Already then i got a taste of 'novelty'. The excitement of seeing an sp, a stranger, somebody new, wow, a powerful drug. I would never consider seeing those providers today...lol

What you describe is classic desensitization. Finding novel sexual situations or increasingly 'edgy' sex to stimulate you. i agree it works for a while, but you are just buying some time. I have compensated by going to better and better looking girls, full gfe is a must, changing frequently, etc. I had my first duo a couple of summers ago, that worked

But i am really at a dead end now. I feel nothing. I still deeply crave sex and female companionship, enjoy the companionship, but i feel nothing during sex, cant get or stay hard, it is getting depressing.

day 3 of the reboot. It was easy not to masturbate or watch porn the first 2 nights...what motivates me is i can still see providers. Looking forward to my next encounter sometime next week....

2fast2slow I truly like your openness here. We are much alike I think. I will turn 50 soon. I started sexual relation at 12 (but lost full virginity at 19). Sex has taken a part of my life that is way to important I am afraid...

At 12 all of a sudden we are 3 boys 3 girls in the basement of my parent's house. The girl decide they want boyfriend. All I remember is we ended kissing each other and touching each other all over. Fuck it was good. So young!

Few days or weeks later I am at the park with one of these girl. It's really cold. I say so. The girl put both of my hand under her coat on her boobs and said that will keep them warm. Her boobs were so tiny but fuck did it work. I still remember my tiny dick being so hard! I went back home different that night.

Over the next 20 years I had many many sweet girlfriend encounter and some cool and/or really cool but weird encounters too. What helped me is the fact that I am not picky. Ok ok I am easy haha... As long as the girl was cool she could have my dick. My thinking was who was I to judge her look really.

Being such a Labrador that only wants to please everyone lead me to actually scores girl that were way beyound my reach. The first time I realized this I was like 22 and stuck in Jasper, Alberta, when this douch bag came up to me and ask "how the fuck you little scum bag scored this hot girl?? Tell me the truth or I crush you fucking little mouth". Haha I was so fucking scared he would do it! I said ok listen I do not care for her that much (which was a fucking lie!) and I will help you ok? He bought it... We became friends. The girl in question anyhow left us both as she went back to Quebec city a week later. But anyhow me and that douch bag scored quite a few girl that summer in Jasper until we both lost our job because we jumped in a hotel pool at 4 am...

Ok ok so where does this leads me? It leads me to the point that I am a bit like you. I now have a totally dysfunctional dick.

Now is the time to make, again, some big changes in my life. Basically I need to find other passion beyond girls and women's body. Is that ever possible?

Cheers,

 

[2fast2slow]

Good luck dude..last year I did no the fap hard mode challenge for 60 days. It was pretty hard at first but got easier over time.

what was the result?? did it help at all?? what is hard mode?

 

[2fast2slow]

I take my hat off to you for sharing.

I truly like your openness here.

well, it is easy here since we are basically anonymous... although a few people on this board know who I am but probably dont care I hope lol

i agree about moderation as a general principle in life, but for porn it seemed harmless as it did not really interfere with my overall happiness and productivity.

Like your stories about early encounters Jalimon. I think our first sexual experiences define us somehow...

day 5, and so far easier than I thought it would be...but again, i have an encounter scheduled this week. That helps so much! ...it'll probably all go to hell at some point!

 

[Mr2SOG]

Good luck dude..last year I did no the fap hard mode challenge for 60 days. It was pretty hard at first but got easier over time.

I used to fap often because I didn't last long but then I lasted too long and didn't enjoy. I am at once a week and it's a good balance. My advice try to masterbate with no porn use your imagination it improves sex experience letting your imagination loose because porn is so high quality it's better than real life lol.

 

[ssj3]

what was the result?? did it help at all?? what is hard mode?

Hard mode is no sex, no porn and no fapping. The first girl I saw after my 60 days was Scarlett and I didn’t last long :lol:

 

[heliragedeleted]

It definitely has a negative effect on sexual performance and expectations. I heard more and more women watch porn, I wonder if they also have deleterious effects?

 

[jalimon]

It definitely has a negative effect on sexual performance and expectations. I heard more and more women watch porn, I wonder if they also have deleterious effects?

Sex is 20% physical and 80% in your brain so yes it will have huge effect on girl too (that and those fucking toys! haha).

 

[Sol Tee Nutz]

^^^^^^ Yeah, when you see a toy the size of your forearm your brain shrinks.

 

[happyhobbist]

Sex is 20% physical and 80% in your brain

Totally agree with you Jalimon.

The proof : I have no problem getting hard and cuming with my wife right now.
But I'm having "guilt limp" even with a hot and generous SP.
That and the condom and worrying about leaving in time to pick up the kids.
At least the blue pill helps with the hardness.

Also I've been trying no porn and no fap for 2 weeks now and it wasn't too hard.
I hope it pays off on my next encouter.