Ask us anything part 3

[LC18]

Respect, being nice are often rewarded.

I guess but that’s still surprising considering that they’re stripping to make money

 

[sin]

I guess but that’s still surprising considering that they’re stripping to make money

Both times were slow nights, I had dances with them at the club and they came after their shifts.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

@Lunaseraphim

Yes people talk, gossip and exchange truth and false information about whoever. It’s not specific to the escort world. In any workplace you will bump into that kind of shit, it’s human nature. As I keep saying, I don’t care what people say or think about me, because it’s none of my business.

Also, I do meet with 3 other merb members, we talk about a lot of different topics and that includes escorts and the escorting world. Talking about experiences, anecdotes and other stories is part of our entertainment nights. So? As far as I know we aren’t hurting anyone. Same goes when the girls are on their girls night out.

 

[CuriousGent]

Both times were slow nights, I had dances with them at the club and they came after their shifts.

If you don't mind me asking, how many dances did you have? Before leaving your hotel room they never hinted at expecting some compensation?

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

[Clients]
My friend has almost convinced me to join her as a stripper but I had some questions for clients.

How often do you go?
Do you buy private dances?
Have you ever tried to see a stripper outside of the club?
If so, would you pay for her services or try to haggle it?

I don’t go anymore, but I used to in my younger years, too often!

Getting take out freebies was not uncommon at all, I, personally, never had to pay for and never been asked money from a girl to get the night going.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

@Lunaseraphim

Yes people talk, gossip and exchange truth and false information about whoever. It’s not specific to the escort world. In any workplace you will bump into that kind of shit, it’s human nature. As I keep saying, I don’t care what people say or think about me, because it’s none of my business.

Also, I do meet with 3 other merb members, we talk about a lot of different topics and that includes escorts and the escorting world. Talking about experiences, anecdotes and other stories is part of our entertainment nights. So? As far as I know we aren’t hurting anyone. Same goes when the girls are on their girls night out.

I wasn't implying that it's bad for people here to become friends and talk about these topics at all.

 

[LC18]

I guess if it’s slow, might as well sit with someone interesting and chat. But to leave with them for free? Idk not really something I understand.

 

[CuriousGent]

[Clients]
My friend has almost convinced me to join her as a stripper but I had some questions for clients.

How often do you go?
Do you buy private dances?
Have you ever tried to see a stripper outside of the club?
If so, would you pay for her services or try to haggle it?

I used to back in college, stoped when I got in a relationship. I did get private dances, back then would mostly go to Solid Gold and some others

I tried a couple of times with a lady I would get dances that would encourage me to finger her when she did private dances but she said her boyfriend was always sitting at the bar when she worked, she would always leave with him at the end of her shift, never brought it up again.

Back then being a student probably would of haggled

 

[CuriousGent]

That's interesting, and yes it's clearly sabotage. When I first started and information about me was shared, I didn't have any friends who were well known providers, so it was clients who talked about me. As I've mentioned in other threads, during the first 2 months that I worked, I planted some real and some false info to see if it would come back to me, and it did.

I'm realizing that maybe certain SPs have tried to pretend being friendly with me as a way to gather intel, and that sucks. I know I feel isolated in this business and may have shared too much with one or two people online.

One thing that I really wonder about is how the subject even comes up in the first place. When I'm with clients, I don't discuss other companions, that just doesn't come up. A few clients have talked about certain companions but I cut the conversation short by saying I didn't want to discuss the person. The only situation I can imagine this happening through is on this forum, in private messages, from other SP's who advertise here, or talking about a person who was given as a reference, or who gave the SP's name as a reference.

It's good that you disregard those comments because bringing something up about a colleague is highly unethical and shows a bad intention. A lot of providers don't actually know each other in person, and the rivalry and jealousy is all in people's heads. Sometimes I am a little envious of certain colleagues but I am not jealous and I would never do anything to compromise their safety or privacy. The existence of someone who is prettier than me or charges a different rate than me doesn't take business away from me. But I know a lot of companions don't see things that way. It's unfortunate, because I think we should be solidary instead of creating this climate of fear and envy..

In any case if I were you I'd tell the provider that someone is bad mouthing them, might save them a lot of trouble.

Given the competitive nature of the business, I never really understood references from sps, I mean if you don't want to lose a client you give a bad reference hoping he comes back since he couldn't book the other provider, and if an sp doesn't like a colleague she could recommend a client she knows to be a jackass

 

[Lunaseraphim]

Given the competitive nature of the business, I never really understood references from sps, I mean if you don't want to lose a client you give a bad reference hoping he comes back since he couldn't book the other provider, and if an sp doesn't like a colleague she could recommend a client she knows to be a jackass

I don't mind at all if someone gives my name as a reference as long as it's truthful. I've found it helpful when I was given other members of Indy Companion as references, too, because there's a higher level of trust. However, you're right, the referral system is flawed. I would personally never recommend a client who's a jackass even to someone I don't particularly like.. but I know other people are different. There are one or two providers I won't take as references anymore because I've had too many bad experiences interacting with them. It's easy to tell when somebody doesn't want to be a reference and doesn't want to help you through their tone.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

To the disappointment of many users here I'm sure, my reviews are purposefully vague in certain ways. For example, I don't really do "play-by-plays" and I'm selective about which acronyms I share. Understandably, that invites follow up questions. The questions I receive are no different from the ones you'd see on any review thread. The user is reaching out to me privately for any number of reasons (e.g., they are shy to ask out in the open, they want answers more tailored to their specific needs/interests, or they're sensitive to the reputational effect of the SP if the answer to their question is negative and posted on their public review thread). Sometimes they are on the fence about seeing a provider or just need one more nudge to reach out. (Sometimes it's me that's reaching out). Like I said, I don't answer everyone or every question and I would never respond to a question about an SP's personal life (have yet to receive one). If an SP has a NRP and has made it known that they don't wish to be discussed on a message board, I honor that.
Here's a sample of the kinds of questions that come in: "does she do DFK?", "is she into kinky stuff?", or "how did you find her face/rear/breasts/etc?".
If I choose to respond, I caveat everything I say heavily such that the questioner understands that 1) YMMV applies and 2) my answer is based on my own subjective experiences and opinions (so as not to plant false expectations).
I should also note that I come away from every encounter with an SP caring about them and their well-being to some degree, including those with whom I didn't have a good experience (a super rare occurrence, fortunately for me). I would never knowingly share anything that I believed could endanger them. Tell me why you think answering such questions could endanger an SP's safety?

As for messing with an SP's business, I can see the case for that. However, 1) I don't believe I have the influence to single-handedly hurt an SP's business by answering questions from random MERB users like "does she DFK?" and 2) I do due diligence on every SP I see and rarely ever come away disappointed from a session (which is why my reviews are rarely negative), so my answers are typically favorable to the SP. I can't know for sure, but to the extent my answers are nudging clients on the fence about a provider to book her, I suppose I would be helping an SP's business, no? If in a hypothetical response I share that I received no anal (for the record, I'm not into anal) and CBJ because the SP has a CBJ-policy and that's enough to turn a prospective client away, I suppose I cost the SP's business, but is that the kind of client the SP wants business from? If I'm hurting an SP's business, which I don't believe to be the case, I don't think I'm doing so anymore than their review thread is.

Thank you for this answer, this is clarifying a lot of things for me!

 

[sin]

If you don't mind me asking, how many dances did you have? Before leaving your hotel room they never hinted at expecting some compensation?

We talked at my table for 1/2 to 1 hour, then 5 or 6 private dances, them they came back to my table to talk and offer to join me for more fun. They never hinted at some compensation.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

But to leave with them for free? Idk not really something I understand.

Just plain mutual attraction, not very different from getting picked up in a regular bar.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

A question I have for you is how do you know that what is being said in private messages is true?

By choosing the right person to exchange infos with.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

By choosing the right person to exchange infos with.

That's not really what I meant. What I mean is, if a client pretends to have personal info about a provider, how do you know that what they told him is the truth, and not something they just said? And how do you know that a certain provider is telling the truth about someone else? Maybe we're still not talking about the same thing.. As in maybe you're talking about exchanging information about personal experiences with providers vs giving away private info about them.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

I definitely wasn’t talking about personal stuff, I tend to stop people from doing so. I have no interest in knowing these things.

 

[DouMan]

A lot of providers don't actually know each other in person, and the rivalry and jealousy is all in people's heads.

This rivalry and jealousy yes does exist and can turn very ugly. Booking false calls by jealous providers leading to a no-show is far from being isolated incidents.

Since screening tends to somewhat hinder that venue the next line of attack is spreading bullshit. This is very effective and will spread. You indicated having tried this, not against others but concerning intel about yourself, and saw how effective this was.

But I wouldn't worry too much about this since most of us don't really care about the negative noise. Honestly, it plays a lot more against the instigator than for.

In any case if I were you I'd tell the provider that someone is bad mouthing them, might save them a lot of trouble.

If it were life threatening or really personal stuff, yes of course. But in the day to day of this domain I don't see any advantage for the lady. Really, I see the complete opposite.

Why go and stress her out with such news that in reality she has no power over? Imagine a moment a sucessful woman getting news that someone is bitching about her. Where do you think her thoughts will go? On her good clients that she met that day? On the pride she has for having built a good image of herself etc?

No her thoughts will go to the one and only incident of someone talking shit about her, will eat away at her down to the pit of her stomach and will negate all that was positive for the day. Sadly, this hurt may last hours and maybe even days.

Is it really worth it?

This is an extremely cold and hard domain. Thank G that the positives overweigh the negatives. Like @Cap'tain Fantastic said bullshit is spread in all lines of work and life in general. This domain is no different and is to be expected tenfold.

 

[Workingman]

That's not really what I meant. What I mean is, if a client pretends to have personal info about a provider, how do you know that what they told him is the truth, and not something they just said? And how do you know that a certain provider is telling the truth about someone else? Maybe we're still not talking about the same thing.. As in maybe you're talking about exchanging information about personal experiences with providers vs giving away private info about them.

Whenever I see a provider stressing like this I try and tell them to ignore it. Especially bad reviews here or anything like that. It's always going to happen. Anyone that reads reviews knows there is a lot of misinformation for a variety of reasons.

 

[LC18]

Just plain mutual attraction, not very different from getting picked up in a regular bar.

I guess, it’s just that you don’t know much about the person by just offering a few dances and chatting

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

I guess, it’s just that you don’t know much about the person by just offering a few dances and chatting

Of course not, it’s not a thing that is meant to lead to marriage!