Ask us anything part 3

[Lunaseraphim]

Why specify "with an SP"? !

STIs can be caught also in the civi world and, all proportions taken, where you are often at far greater risk.

And by the way if one receives "from an SP" just keep in mind that she got it from a John.

This is 100% true, and I've known many civilians who have unprotected sex with strangers.. I'm not shaming anybody, but there are more chances of catching an STI if you are hooking up with random people rather than seeing SP's, in my humble opinion.. And if you are very afraid of STI's, please ask for covered services.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

And by the way if one receives "from an SP" just keep in mind that she got it from a John.

How is that? SPs don’t have real life partners? Or their OF colabs?

 

[DouMan]

How is that? SPs don’t have real life partners? Or their OF colabs?

Good point I agree. I was just annoyed at targeting the SPs in the question.

 

[bodick7]

I never in my life had a condom that broke, but I had a condom slippage 3 or 4 times total since my beginnings because the penis got softer during penetration. For the last part of your question, I can't help you but I recommend that you get tested frequently if you are sexually active, as most of us sex workers do.

Believe it or not, I got a broken one at my very first session with an SP.
I was in my late twenties and scared to death because I was not knowing much about hobby at that time...
The SP told me to calm down and not to worried. She has been nice and sweet.
Hopefully, it didn't happen since.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

How is that? SPs don’t have real life partners? Or their OF colabs?

That's true, but from what I've seen, SP's tend to be a lot more careful about their sexual health than other people. Of course that's a generalization but it's just what I've noticed when talking to colleagues.

 

[haberbosch25]

There is no way anyone seriously believes that an SP who allows gfe (bbbj, daty, dfk) with the majority of her clients and is seeing 500+ people a year has a lower std risk profile than the average non sp.

Anyone who participates in this industry, man or woman, is going to have a higher std risk profile than someone who doesn’t, on an average basis.

 

[Giselle Montreal]

There is no way anyone seriously believes that an SP who allows gfe (bbbj, daty, dfk) with the majority of her clients and is seeing 500+ people a year has a lower std risk profile than the average non sp.

Anyone who participates in this industry, man or woman, is going to have a higher std risk profile than someone who doesn’t, on an average basis.

Yes and no.

As a SW;
- I inspect the skin and body parts of my partner before proximity
- I keep the light on to stay alert
- I always use a condom for penetration
- I always check if the condom is on
- I select the right size of condom and use lube to avoid breakage and slippage
- I get tested every 3 months so to break the chain as early as possible if I were to get an infection
- I don't have intercourse if drunk or on drugs, which is often a cause of judgment alteration
- I say no sometimes; e.g. I won't put a condom on a half erected soft penis or allow penetration, some guys think they will get hard when inside but it is a huge risk of condom slippage

Many things I weren't aware of before this job, and I feel more responsible for my health. I could go years before getting tested, my eyes were not trained to inspect the skin and didn't know how to say no when doubting.

 

[LC18]

There is no way anyone seriously believes that an SP who allows gfe (bbbj, daty, dfk) with the majority of her clients and is seeing 500+ people a year has a lower std risk profile than the average non sp.

Anyone who participates in this industry, man or woman, is going to have a higher std risk profile than someone who doesn’t, on an average basis.

Most of the regular people I’ve met didn’t think getting tested was necessary. When someone says something like that it’s such a turn off.

Sexual health is sexy!

 

[Rebaynia]

What do you do to hide the period from your partner ?

I don't. If someone contacts me and I tell them I am on my womanly week off work, it means I am on my period. I am not available when I am going threw that time of the month.
I need the break anyways for my own mental health.

 

[OverIce]

I don't. If someone contacts ke and I tell them I am on my womanly week off work, it means I am on my period. I am not available when I am going threw that time of the month.

Respect!

 

[Rebaynia]

How would more people be doing it
Against their will and pimping become the norm? Please explain. There is currently alot of pimping now. Also where does the leave the costumer? There are plenty of places that legalized sex work.

Because I know a lot of women in abusive relationships. And if the guy knew he could use that as a way to belittle her and use her even more I have no doubt in the world he would.
I even know some who are broken up and are still being controlled by their ex by financial abuse just to maintain power over her so she can't escape.
Admittedly I have seen the dark side of many people. And I wouldn't want to think how bad it could get if they were allowed to be their darker side of themselves without society holding them accountable for their actions. Most keep themselves in check only because of what the next person would think of them.
I tend to have a pretty low oppinion of humanity as a whole, and people will often do whatever they can get away with, if they can do it without reprocutions.

 

[Rebaynia]

Long time lurker here! What are SP thoughts on giving oral with a condom on vs off? Is it more common for SP’s to ask to have the condom on due to safety etc?

We are all different.

 

[Rebaynia]

1) I've had a few sessions now where the SP has forgotten their lube. I think I will buy/pack a backup just in case this happens again. What's the consensus on the best type of lube (unscented silicone & water-based blend)?

Water based as silicone has an adverse reaction for condoms. But I would suggest it as an in case deal. I have my brand I like and I won't let other kinds be used on me.

2) I'd like to send my test results to SPs without implying that 1) I'm looking for BBFS (I'm not) and 2) I expect them to send me their results back (I don't). What would be the right non-awkward way to effectively communicate this?

I don't know about others, but I would think it a red flag if someone is sending me his test results. My first reaction is/would very likely be, what is he up to? And what is he expecting from sending test results? I question the intentions behind it. It won't make me any more comfortable to be with him if he did, it wouldn't lesson my barriers or what I allow in a visit, and I would fully expect he has the intentions to push my limits if he is trying to show he is safe.

 

[Cap'tain Fantastic]

That's true, but from what I've seen, SP's tend to be a lot more careful about their sexual health than other people. Of course that's a generalization but it's just what I've noticed when talking to colleagues.

You might be very careful but you will never know how careful your partners really are.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

You might be very careful but you will never know how careful your partners really are.

of course, we know that.

 

[Nachoy]

I understand and have acknowledged that test results are not verified proof that a client is clean on the day and time of the appointment. That was never my argument. My prior position was that sending test results can show that a client is doing regular testing and was clean at some point in time in proximity to the meeting. Yes, it’s not much and safety protocols for either party should not budge or react to it, but, until this exchange anyway, I thought it was better than the status quo, which is basically some form of “trust me bro”/“take my word for it”. SPs are the authority on what’s in the best interest of their health and safety, not me, so if you say sending the results is as good as useless, then I believe you.

Why bro? It’s a red flag for SP. Makes SP think you might have STI if you try so hard to make them think you don’t have one

I don't. If someone contacts me and I tell them I am on my womanly week off work, it means I am on my period. I am not available when I am going threw that time of the month.
I need the break anyways for my own mental health.

Yea thats refreshing and respectful The other SP talk about “hiding” their period. I rather have partners say when it might be coming and be honest and we can modify the sex practices

 

[Julia Sky]

There is no way anyone seriously believes that an SP who allows gfe (bbbj, daty, dfk) with the majority of her clients and is seeing 500+ people a year has a lower std risk profile than the average non sp.

Anyone who participates in this industry, man or woman, is going to have a higher std risk profile than someone who doesn’t, on an average basis.

BBBJ is way, way less of a risk than any type of penetration. I never got an STI as an escort (that's 8 years and counting!), but I did get one as a teenager and every single person I know who told me they got one hasn't been an escort.

I made this post on this subject, worth reading to better understand my stance.

 

[Lunaseraphim]

BBBJ is way, way less of a risk than any type of penetration. I never got an STI as an escort (that's 8 years and counting!), but I did get one as a teenager and every single person I know who told me they got one hasn't been an escort.

I made this post on this subject, worth reading to better understand my stance.

Thank you Julia!

 

[Nostalgia]

“Would you like a receipt for today’s banging session sir?”

We are already expected to pay taxes like other self employed people. However, most of us don’t tell our clients. We just absorb the loss. If the government gets in my panties, I’m definitely charging you a 14.975% extra on top of my advertised rate and I’m giving you a receipt.

I guess more people would prefer being paid by debit/credit cards if it’s legal and so discretion for clients becomes an issue.

I also doubt this would make the traveling internationally situation easier for sex workers.

I know a few American students living in Montreal that don’t want to buy weed from the SQDC with their American credit card because they’re scared it will cause them problems when they return back home.

TLDR: Why do you want the government in your bedroom? Are they not f***ing you enough with other taxes and laws?

You say that as if it's a bad thing. Receipts aren't going to deter anyone. People use debit and credit cards for cams, strip clubs, massages etc etc.
Those businesses are booming. Travelling international won't be a problem at all. The way things are now if a client gets in trouble he won't be able to cross the border at all..

 

[Nostalgia]

We already pay taxes as other sex-employed workers and we already have regular health checks.

Just like with the SAQ and the SQDC, and knowing our government, we would have an STDSDQ (Société des Travailleuses(rs) du sexe du Québec) where we would have to work from and between, what, 9 to 5 maybe. I would have an employer (RIP private businesses in the sex industry — and I love my self-employment status) and no other than the government! We wouldn't work from home anymore since it had to be from selected places in the city, and if you do go on the black market, they could arrest you. If you go out with a courtesan, they could arrest you because Article 30, alinea 1.5; prostitutes can't be used in public. We, SW, wouldn't go to hotels anymore, this will become prohibited since it can't be tracked and a way to keep the regular businesses "clean of prostitution". They would take your licence on arrival, your phone number and an emergency contact.

edit: since we would prefer to keep our business private, we would have to go underground. We would still advertise online (illegally) but our ads would become even more cryptical, with so few details that it would be an even bigger hit or miss for the clients. More scammers would get in the way since no one can give enough details to be proven not a scammer. We would be resorted to going to private residences because hotels would be too dangerous, putting us in a more vulnerable position.

I understand the brothels in other countries, but it's not the best scenario either. It needs to be like any other job: most jobs aren't legal. They just "are" within the existing laws, and rights, of the country.

OK first of all there would be safe places for it just like every other country where it is legal. They Don't necessarily have to be brothels.

No job " just is". There are regulations and laws around.all of them. I can't just sell food without a license and permits or a proper location.

As far as the health checks. How does a client currently verify something like that?