@chowzilla I am sorry you are in the same boat too. Hope you didn't lose too much money.
To answer your question, I was both emotionally and financially invested. I spent more than 120k per year on her (including gifts/trips). The sex got better and better (provided I can get her in the mood, this has gotten harder and harder in the last 1.5 years). I get to do what most hobbyists dream of with SPs. I didn't force her or coerce her but she offered it freely (didn't require more money). I am not sure I am allowed to say here.
I saw the red flags. I even tabulated my own data analytics. The last minute cancellations/re-scheduling has gotten more and more severe in 2019 and this year. Like I said, she always needed lube after the cancelations/re-scheduling. Whereas, if I didn't get cancel, there is no lube required. I wasn't really blinded by the red flags but chose to look the other way. On some level, I chose to believe she loved me (and/or my money). The way she looked at me, I felt they she did (or at least in some way) or she's a good actress.
I definitely knew she was money oriented. She grew up very poor and sometimes had nothing to eat. I was hoping to enjoy this relationship (if you can call it that) for as long as possible. The loan is a small fraction of what I spent on her but it sucks she disappeared soon after getting it.