Hello people.
WOW! This thread really took off overnight.
I do not understand the seriousness or your near hysterical reaction.
Some anxiety over not knowing or being told the truth before being intimate and even more anxiety after is understandable and normal....up to a point. Sexual identity and sensitivity is a very tender element that should be respected. It's part of the key to our perception of ourselves and our whole self-identity. Despite the rights of others to live a sexual identity as they choose it's not their right to deceive in a way that wounds or threatens the sexual identity of others. However having a reaction after finding out 6 months later having not experienced any discomfort at all until then, well, it's interesting learning the truth so long after having a good time remains disturbing. It illuminates how sensitive sexual self-identity is no matter what one believed about what was going on at the time.
However, if you are concerned about bumping up (accidentally) against men on the metro or guys having their legs open bothers you your sensitivities are extreme and it's beyond anything a transgender could be responsible for whether you knew who she had been or not.
Beating people up is for the weak. Kindness and compassion is real strength. Maybe I just have too much confidence in my own orientation. But I cannot imagine getting so upset, or having nightmares for years.
Absolutely! while deception is a very serious issue which cannot and should not be put aside or diminished this issue is just as much about CONFIDENCE and SECURITY in yourself. Beating someone over your issues will not change anything about your own weaknesses and insecurities.
Still, I think it offends some guys more they could not tell the difference rather than not being told.
Cheers