Ask us anything part 3

[DouMan]

Interested in your opinion on the following...

A previously very well-known and very well-reviewed SP breaching the “code of discretion" by:
- Stalking a client’s social media under a false identity.
- Obtaining information about his relationship through his social media.
- Contacting his girlfriend and lying about the timeframe during which he was a client.
- Proceeds to mock the client via texts…knowing that the relationship didn’t survive her interference.

Would the client be justified in “outing” her on a review board such as MERB?

Asking for a friend...

If he has proof of such your "friend" could simply go to the police and have them judge the validity of such a complaint.
Otherwise anyone could start posting anyone's name about anything, be it true or false, for whatever reason.

We often see this between kids at school posting anything and in that example we call that "bullying". Adults are supposed to be more intelligent.

 

[talkinghead]

Interested in your opinion on the following...

A previously very well-known and very well-reviewed SP breaching the “code of discretion" by:
- Stalking a client’s social media under a false identity.
- Obtaining information about his relationship through his social media.
- Contacting his girlfriend and lying about the timeframe during which he was a client.
- Proceeds to mock the client via texts…knowing that the relationship didn’t survive her interference.

Would the client be justified in “outing” her on a review board such as MERB?

Asking for a friend...

Just the thought gives me the willies. There's so much at stake, not only for the client but the SP and indeed the SP community. I agree with @DouMan that it's probably not a good idea to make accusations out here; they would be necessarily anonymous on your "friend's" part and result in an ugly kerfuffle. On the other hand, we're talking about the client's life (job, relationships, family, etc.). I'm curious what "previously" means; is she out of the business? I also wonder how she advertises. In the past, the women on Indy Companion had a kind of back channel way of communicating. Maybe it would be possible to get word to them?? (I have no idea.) It is very strongly in their interest not to have anyone in their "collective" pulling that nonsense. If the SP is entirely independent (and doesn't advertise on MERB, Indy Companions, or Tryst, eg), then I don't see what can be done .... but in my book it's a reason only to go with established SPs or agencies. These days I'm very reluctant to give up my personal information.

::shudders::

 

[Fradi]

I doubt Merb would allow your “friend” to make accusations without explicit proof which is almost impossible to do.
Makes you wonder what the “friend did to this SP to warrant her taking a chance to have her reputation destroyed.

While for sure there maybe crazies amongst SP just like with clients I doubt having a public outing and argument on Merb is going to change anything even if everything is true.
SP change their name all the time, and clients regularly think with their dicks.

 

[talkinghead]

Makes you wonder what the “friend did to this SP to warrant her taking a chance to have her reputation destroyed.

While for sure there maybe crazies amongst SP just like with clients ....

I haven't seen anything too dark on MERB but years ago I spent a fair amount of time in Las Vegas and on the LV TER and other regional forums ... and I saw a couple star SPs seriously flame out publicly and make a big mess along the way. I know that substance abuse played a part in one of their dramatic demises and banishments from the boards.

 

[Nachoy]

Do you ever wish or fantasize that all your clients were single and unattached?

 

[Nachoy]

Do you have a certain routine you follow?
What’s in your routine ?

 

[envelopes]

@ Indies

whats the best way to get started ASAP in a new city when you're touring so you can get bookings before you arrive?

i have a SW friend going indy and she plans to not work in the same city anymore after running into someone she knew, so she plans to tour only. shes asking me since i'm a hobbyist but i honestly have no idea. i'm guessing advertising on all the sites/boards. but since i'm a hobbyist who only sees SPs from agencies, i don't know how indys do it

 

[Skym]

To the SP, do you like cimsw?

 

[Giselle Montreal]

@ Indies

whats the best way to get started ASAP in a new city when you're touring so you can get bookings before you arrive?

i have a SW friend going indy and she plans to not work in the same city anymore after running into someone she knew, so she plans to tour only. shes asking me since i'm a hobbyist but i honestly have no idea. i'm guessing advertising on all the sites/boards. but since i'm a hobbyist who only sees SPs from agencies, i don't know how indys do it

Well, indeed, you have to advertise on the local sites. On Twitter as well.

 

[Johnny test]

In Montreal there's an indy network (for lack of a better name), not exactly sure how it works but ladies who use the network have a link on their website and access to incalls if i'm not mistaken.
@Julia Sky and @LC18 @MichelleMontreal are part of the network.
Not sure if the same thing exists for other cities.
It's a very useful website as far as i'm concerned, MERB being more useful for reviews in my experience

 

[Giselle Montreal]

In Montreal there's an indy network (for lack of a better name), not exactly sure how it works but ladies who use the network have a link on their website and access to incalls if i'm not mistaken. [...]

What are you answering to? I am not sure what you are referring to so I can't comment on your statement. But, not everyone uses the same incalls.

 

[Fradi]

In Montreal there's an indy network (for lack of a better name), not exactly sure how it works but ladies who use the network have a link on their website and access to incalls if i'm not mistaken.
@Giselle Montreal @Julia Sky and @LC18 @MichelleMontreal are part of the network.
Not sure if the same thing exists for other cities.
It's a very useful website as far as i'm concerned, MERB being more useful for reviews in my experience

This is not news to anybody.
Everybody knows and all have been told not to mention it.
Sp are not any better at keeping secrets than anyone else lol.
Still want to send photo ID?

 

[Sylar]

This is not news to anybody.
Everybody knows and all have been told not to mention it.
Sp are not any better at keeping secrets than anyone else lol.
Still want to send photo ID?

I would never send my ID as a form of verification either, but just because information is shared between SPs, doesn’t automatically mean that they pass around clients’ personal information.

 

[LC18]

This is not news to anybody.
Everybody knows and all have been told not to mention it.
Sp are not any better at keeping secrets than anyone else lol.
Still want to send photo ID?

What do incalls have to do with IDs?

 

[Rebaynia]

SPs, does this make you look at men* differently?

Meaning, are you turned off more easily than before?

It's a good thing I have my relationship now before getting back into this.

Doing this for work has reinforced me not to trust men in relationships. I don't judge those I see for making the choices they do. But it often has me turn to my master with my ever growing insecurity that men seem incapable of remaining faithful. Thankfully he understands where I am coming from, and always meets my insecurity with kindness, understanding, and reassurance, reminding me not everyone is the same.

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If we are talking about being turned off by men physically, no it doesn't turn me off. I am not emotionally dependant on my clients. They are free men to do what they want.
If anything, I have learned to not base my attraction to men by how they look, but who they are, and how they treat me.

 

[Rebaynia]

How often do you cold call?
Or call up clients you haven’t seen for a while?
How often you try calling your favorite clients before you give up

Maybe 1-2 times a year. Only if I was given the ok. And only a generic message that could easily be disreguarded as a wrong number, or a it's no one, in case they have since gotten into a relationship. Like a simple, "Hi, hope all is going well." Or "Wishing you a Merry Christmas."
I give up right away if they don't respond back. I assume either they don't want to reach back out, are not interested any more, or number might have changed.

 

[Rebaynia]

Interested in your opinion on the following...

A previously (no longer in the industry) very well-known and very well-reviewed (on MERB) SP breaching the “code of discretion" by:
- Stalking a client’s social media under a false identity.
- Obtaining information about his relationship through his social media.
- Contacting his girlfriend and lying about the timeframe during which he was a client.
- Proceeds to mock the client via texts…knowing that the relationship didn’t survive her interference.

Thoughts?

That is not ok.
This has mean girl, ruin your life, for no good reason, energy all over it.

Sorry to hear you went threw this.

 

[Johnny test]

What do incalls have to do with IDs?

was wondering the same thing, it seems to be a touchy topic but since i didn't add any link to said network i didn't think it would be a problem
anyway i was answering to @envelopes question didn't want to open another controversy

 

[LC18]

Interested in your opinion on the following...

A previously (no longer in the industry) very well-known and very well-reviewed (on MERB) SP breaching the “code of discretion" by:
- Stalking a client’s social media under a false identity.
- Obtaining information about his relationship through his social media.
- Contacting his girlfriend and lying about the timeframe during which he was a client.
- Proceeds to mock the client via texts…knowing that the relationship didn’t survive her interference.

Thoughts?

Was she in love with you? What’s her motivation to act this way? That’s so bizarre…

 

[Workingman]

Was she in love with you? What’s her motivation to act this way? That’s so bizarre…

I'm curious cause that part of the story is oddly missing.