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Joke Thread

letsrock2012

Member
Jan 9, 2012
634
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18
After a Beer Festival in a nice hotel, all the brewery presidents decided to go for a beer.
Corona's president sits down and says: "Señor, I would like the world's best beer, a Corona." The bartender takes a bottle from the shelf and gives it to him.
Then Budweiser's president says: "I'd like the best beer in the world, give me 'The King Of Beers', a Budweiser." The bartender gives him one.
Coors' president says: "I'd like the best beer in the world, the only one made with Rocky Mountain spring water, give me a Coors." He gets it.
Molson's president sits down and says: "Give me a Coke." The bartender a little surprised gives him a coke.
The other brewery presidents look over at him and ask: "Why aren't you drinking a Molson?"
The Molson president replies: "Well, if you guys aren't drinking beer, neither will I."
 

Doc Holliday

Female body inspector
Sep 27, 2003
19,928
1,393
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Canada
Q: What is the difference between a habs fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after a while.
 

Doc Holliday

Female body inspector
Sep 27, 2003
19,928
1,393
113
Canada
Q: What is the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and the Habs?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles score points.
 

What's My Name

Who Are You?
Mar 16, 2014
1,078
593
113
Montreal
A blonde and a lawyer are seated next to each other on a flight from LA to NY. The lawyer asks if she would like to play a fun game? The blonde, tired, just wants to take a nap, politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The lawyer persists and explains that the game is easy and a lot of fun. He explains, "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5.00, and vice versa. " Again, she declines and tries to get some sleep. The lawyer, now agitated, says, "Okay, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5.00, and if I don't know the answer, I will pay you $500.00." This catches the blonde's attention and, figuring there will be no end to this torment unless she plays, agrees to the game. The lawyer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?" The blonde doesn't say a word, reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5.00 bill and hands it to the lawyer. "Okay" says the lawyer, "your turn." She asks the lawyer, "What goes up a hill with three legs and comes down with four legs?" The lawyer, puzzled, takes out his laptop computer and searches all his references, no answer. He taps into the air phone with his modem and searches the net and the library of congress, no answer. Frustrated, he sends e-mails to all his friends and coworkers, to no avail. After an hour, he wakes the blonde, and hands her $500.00. The blonde says, "Thank you," and turns back to get some more sleep. The lawyer, who is more than a little miffed, wakes the blonde and asks, "Well, what's the answer?" Without a word, the blonde reaches into her purse, hands the lawyer $5.00, and goes back to sleep. And you thought blondes were dumb.
 

panthere

Active Member
Jul 16, 2004
2,539
12
38
ZION
Visit site
On devrait appeller le prochain film Xxx ...citrouille.... Yaurai plein de graine dedans;)
 

Sol Tee Nutz

Well-Known Member
Apr 29, 2012
7,675
1,523
113
Look behind you.
Met a lady who had a tattoo of a seashell on her upper thigh, when I put my ear against it I could smell the ocean.... Bahahahahaha...
 

Sol Tee Nutz

Well-Known Member
Apr 29, 2012
7,675
1,523
113
Look behind you.
I am guessing that not all women like to be kissed on the neck.

Especially when they are driving and I am in the backseat.

And she does not know I was there.

Or who I am.

Apparently.
 

letsrock2012

Member
Jan 9, 2012
634
23
18
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob,
the next-door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, "I’ll give you $800 to drop that towel."
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob. After a few seconds,
Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?" "It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.
"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"
 

Sol Tee Nutz

Well-Known Member
Apr 29, 2012
7,675
1,523
113
Look behind you.
US election prediction: Democrats take an early lead which will drastically change later in the day when the Republicans get off work.
 

jalimon

I am addicted member
Dec 28, 2015
6,251
166
63
"I had sex with a prostitute when I was 21, I was so bad, she gave me a refund."

Robin Williams

 

j-fingel

Member
Oct 6, 2012
43
0
6
Un gars sur le BS entre dans un centre d'emploi, il va voir la réceptioniste et lui dit qu'il se cherche un emploi. Elle le regarde et lui dit: "juste vous asseoir 5 minutes, ça va passer".
 

Zumba650

New Member
Jun 26, 2015
28
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STN,

Funny stuff !!!!!

I never banged a 10, but one night I banged 5 twos and I thing that should count !!!!
 

Sleemans

New Member
Jan 11, 2012
35
0
0
What is the difference between a Harley and a Hoover?

The Hoover has a dirt bag inside and the Harley has a the dirt bag hanging on the outside.
 

SilverDust

New Member
Oct 29, 2008
1,063
1
0
Have you seen those testicles hanging off the hitch on some vehicles?
They always have a BIG dick behind the wheel.
 
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